I do agree that sometime certain things are over diagnosed to calm children down but that is usually ADD or ADHD not autism.
I worked at a daycare for five years so I've seen quite a bit but one thing stuck with me was a family that was diagnosed with ADHD for their 9 year old daughter. Dad was army mom was a nurse. They said that was just the school not wanting to do anything about real discipline for her. When she was at home she was made to behave so they knew she would. The school said the teachers had too many kids to ensure her good behavior. They came to me as her daycare 'teacher'. I had 35 kids at once and the ages ranged from 5 to 12 so my classroom was chaos if a strong 'teacher' wasn't in it. I kept my class orderly though. They laid down the rules for me and told me her calm down method. Sure enough it worked but I had to make sure she did it. When she got angry I had to stop her, ask her what was wrong, ask her if she was past her calm levels. She would be flustered and angry and have a hard time speaking but she would tell me even if it was hard to understand. I would tell her to go find a book and give herself a few minutes. She'd stomp over to the books, snatch a book up, throw herself on the floor then read the book. Within five minutes she would come back to me and say "Mrs. Mandy, I'm sorry I got upset. I'm better now." I would thank her for listening to me and apologizing and we would work together on fixing whatever had angered her. That was a case of the school not wanting to help the child out for sure.
That situation isn't always the case though although the process of walking the child through the emotions and giving time to feel them is similar to what Jack was saying in preparing her little one for something other's take as trivial events. Some kids can be helped with one method some need others and I've never found a fool proof one that works for everyone. That's why I hate when parents of well behaved children go "you don't have to spank children to get them to behave.", "Positive reinforcement works!", "I just did this and it worked" Yeah well Susan that doesn't work for all kids. Learning their personality and how they grow, respond, comprehend are so important to help build healthy adults. In some cases medicine IS needed and that's not bad.
Plus Hammy went through a LOT to even get diagnosed, this wasn't something they just handed to him because he said he felt he could be on the spectrum. I'm very proud of him for doing what he needed to in order to get this info.
I worked at a daycare for five years so I've seen quite a bit but one thing stuck with me was a family that was diagnosed with ADHD for their 9 year old daughter. Dad was army mom was a nurse. They said that was just the school not wanting to do anything about real discipline for her. When she was at home she was made to behave so they knew she would. The school said the teachers had too many kids to ensure her good behavior. They came to me as her daycare 'teacher'. I had 35 kids at once and the ages ranged from 5 to 12 so my classroom was chaos if a strong 'teacher' wasn't in it. I kept my class orderly though. They laid down the rules for me and told me her calm down method. Sure enough it worked but I had to make sure she did it. When she got angry I had to stop her, ask her what was wrong, ask her if she was past her calm levels. She would be flustered and angry and have a hard time speaking but she would tell me even if it was hard to understand. I would tell her to go find a book and give herself a few minutes. She'd stomp over to the books, snatch a book up, throw herself on the floor then read the book. Within five minutes she would come back to me and say "Mrs. Mandy, I'm sorry I got upset. I'm better now." I would thank her for listening to me and apologizing and we would work together on fixing whatever had angered her. That was a case of the school not wanting to help the child out for sure.
That situation isn't always the case though although the process of walking the child through the emotions and giving time to feel them is similar to what Jack was saying in preparing her little one for something other's take as trivial events. Some kids can be helped with one method some need others and I've never found a fool proof one that works for everyone. That's why I hate when parents of well behaved children go "you don't have to spank children to get them to behave.", "Positive reinforcement works!", "I just did this and it worked" Yeah well Susan that doesn't work for all kids. Learning their personality and how they grow, respond, comprehend are so important to help build healthy adults. In some cases medicine IS needed and that's not bad.
Plus Hammy went through a LOT to even get diagnosed, this wasn't something they just handed to him because he said he felt he could be on the spectrum. I'm very proud of him for doing what he needed to in order to get this info.
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.”
Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
