Any financial guru's here?

[Fireball]

Talk to your friends and acquaintances about who they use to do investing for them. My parents-in-law vetted the agency I'm using. They have quite a record. My PiL retired with $X, their investment is now worth $14X, and there is a required annual disbursement due to age that is almost the amount they retired with and invested- and it is still increasing. That is of course, 30 years in. Too bad for you that they are on the opposite coast, but there are bound to be others near you. My own account has increased about 30% in the last 3 years. And they only charge about .07% to do all that!

Sound advice but I am going under the assumption that Brian doesn't run in a circle of people with inherited wealth.

Neither do I. My MiL is still alive! The same type of people can help Brian as help me. Personally, I'd recommend that Brian get employment, even if it's minimum wage. That will likely put a buffer between him and truly abject poverty. It is at least something.