Meditation teachers won't say emotions aren't real, but rather they are a reaction to our environment that we can learn to control. Our brain creates emotions instinctively, but we have a measure of control over this process and allowing ourselves to control emotions gives us more control over our life.
Changing hats now. Regarding "falling out of love" is certainly possible due exactly to what Boru said. But I learned a long time ago to approach it differently when I read 7 habits of highly effective families by Steven Covey. Covey's approach to loving someone was not passive, as in I love my wife, love being a noun. Covey asserts that in this case, love should be a verb. If you actively love someone, you act on it by demonstrating this on a regular basis. What do you do if you love your car? You take good care of it; you drive it carefully, you keep it well maintained, you don't leave it covered up in the garage for months on end with no attention. This was his advice for personal relationships, not just spouses but any relationship. Seems insanely obvious but people forget this all the time. I had a friend who said he looked at his wife of 10 years one day and told her he just didn't love her anymore. Why? Why wasn't he actively doing the things that demonstrated love for all that time? There wasn't another woman. I knew them both very well and neither of them changed as people. He was always lazy and she was always nuts. This approach has worked for me anyway. Year ago, I used to genuinely worry about marriage getting dull, but that seems laughable now.
Changing hats now. Regarding "falling out of love" is certainly possible due exactly to what Boru said. But I learned a long time ago to approach it differently when I read 7 habits of highly effective families by Steven Covey. Covey's approach to loving someone was not passive, as in I love my wife, love being a noun. Covey asserts that in this case, love should be a verb. If you actively love someone, you act on it by demonstrating this on a regular basis. What do you do if you love your car? You take good care of it; you drive it carefully, you keep it well maintained, you don't leave it covered up in the garage for months on end with no attention. This was his advice for personal relationships, not just spouses but any relationship. Seems insanely obvious but people forget this all the time. I had a friend who said he looked at his wife of 10 years one day and told her he just didn't love her anymore. Why? Why wasn't he actively doing the things that demonstrated love for all that time? There wasn't another woman. I knew them both very well and neither of them changed as people. He was always lazy and she was always nuts. This approach has worked for me anyway. Year ago, I used to genuinely worry about marriage getting dull, but that seems laughable now.
Why is it so?
~Julius Sumner Miller
~Julius Sumner Miller
