<![CDATA[Atheist Forums

<![CDATA[Atheist Forums - Humor]]> https://atheistforums.org/ Wed, 13 May 2026 07:45:40 +0000 MyBB <![CDATA[Five Things *I* Don’t Like About Atheists]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66656.html Tue, 31 Mar 2026 17:44:50 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66656.html
2. They keep insisting that I should try THIS kind of pizza.

3. They tend to dress better than I do.

4. Many of them can’t sing.

and most of all

5. Some of them seem to spend a lot of time pissing off a hypothetical Scotsman.

Boru]]>
2. They keep insisting that I should try THIS kind of pizza.

3. They tend to dress better than I do.

4. Many of them can’t sing.

and most of all

5. Some of them seem to spend a lot of time pissing off a hypothetical Scotsman.

Boru]]> <![CDATA[Is this a paradox?]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66490.html Mon, 07 Jul 2025 17:14:44 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66490.html

FSM Grin

]]>

]]> <![CDATA[In your opinion what causes Nessies to believe in Nessie?]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66420.html Sun, 04 May 2025 21:59:04 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66420.html <![CDATA[Vote for the new pope]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66414.html Tue, 22 Apr 2025 18:41:43 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66414.html 1. Cardinal Cod

[Image: OIG1.PE7BOx.or2DkFrm.Rxe.?pid=ImgGn]

[Image: OIG1.PE7BOx.or2DkFrm.Rxe.?pid=ImgGn]

Pros: Endorsed by Boru, All about that bass
Cons: Seems Fishy

2. Cardinal Köfte

[Image: FhT7ZXrH.png]

Pros: Man of the people, Rescues shelter dogs.
Cons: Strong Pastafarian leanings

3. Cardinal Cardinal
[Image: LZzUUj8X.jpg]

Pros: Early riser, Makes nice music
Cons: Focused mainly on worms and nesting

4. C̶̙̲̗̞̙̫̫͍̥̭͍̞̺̠̋̌̔͛̓͋͛̐̽͜͠ͅŢ̷̣̣̘͍̹̘̹͎̠̻͕̹̔̇̉͛̇̀́̽͆͜ͅH̴̨̺͓̼̘̭͈͇͉̙̳̭͒͋̋̾̿̈́̒ͅŰ̸͇͎̯̠ͅL̶̯͚̓̅̊̎̉́̾̍̕͠͝Ȟ̴̨̢̨̥̲͓͙̟̥̬̟̼͚̫̯͑̅͒̃͂̓̚̕ͅU̸̩̜͇̬̪̓́̿́̒̄̓͒̂́̽̿̀̎̂ͅ

[Image: cthulhu-1.jpg]

Pros: Unbiased, Uncoruptable
Cons: Incomprehensible form

5: Other (Please state)

Choose wisely]]> 1. Cardinal Cod

[Image: OIG1.PE7BOx.or2DkFrm.Rxe.?pid=ImgGn]

Pros: Endorsed by Boru, All about that bass
Cons: Seems Fishy

2. Cardinal Köfte

[Image: FhT7ZXrH.png]

Pros: Man of the people, Rescues shelter dogs.
Cons: Strong Pastafarian leanings

3. Cardinal Cardinal
[Image: LZzUUj8X.jpg]

Pros: Unbiased, Uncoruptable
Cons: Incomprehensible form

5: Other (Please state)

Choose wisely]]> <![CDATA[Predictions For 2025]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66264.html Wed, 01 Jan 2025 09:55:38 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66264.html
1. Donald Trump will admit to all the massive mistakes, misjudgments, and crimes he's committed over the years.

2. After going from country to pop, Taylor Swift will enter the death metal phase of her career.

3. A live-action Danger Mouse film will shatter all existing box office records, in spite of never rising above 6% on Rotten Tomatoes.

4. Elon Musk will be burned in effigy ('Effigy' is a small town in Montana).

5. Wood will be outlawed as a house building material, to be replaced by Legos.

6. The next country to land people on the moon will be Fiji.

7. The Beatles song 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' will inexplicably top the Billboard charts for six weeks.

8. A new species of fish will be discovered and promptly eaten to extinction.

9. The decline in worldwide church attendance will accelerate as more people realize that it's just a bloody boring time-suck.

10. You will all be astonished at the accuracy of these predictions and send me large cash donations to fund my ministry.

Boru]]>
1. Donald Trump will admit to all the massive mistakes, misjudgments, and crimes he's committed over the years.

2. After going from country to pop, Taylor Swift will enter the death metal phase of her career.

3. A live-action Danger Mouse film will shatter all existing box office records, in spite of never rising above 6% on Rotten Tomatoes.

4. Elon Musk will be burned in effigy ('Effigy' is a small town in Montana).

5. Wood will be outlawed as a house building material, to be replaced by Legos.

6. The next country to land people on the moon will be Fiji.

7. The Beatles song 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' will inexplicably top the Billboard charts for six weeks.

8. A new species of fish will be discovered and promptly eaten to extinction.

9. The decline in worldwide church attendance will accelerate as more people realize that it's just a bloody boring time-suck.

10. You will all be astonished at the accuracy of these predictions and send me large cash donations to fund my ministry.

Boru]]> <![CDATA[God Xs]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66248.html Wed, 18 Dec 2024 04:32:09 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66248.html existence
If a creator god is outside of existence, isn't it dead? Dodgy

IDK

The next time I hear someone claim that a creator god is outside of time or reality,
I'll be exiting to witness it's existence.
Faints

]]> existence
If a creator god is outside of existence, isn't it dead? Dodgy

IDK

The next time I hear someone claim that a creator god is outside of time or reality,
I'll be exiting to witness it's existence.
Faints

]]> <![CDATA[the cruise ship goes down]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66235.html Wed, 11 Dec 2024 20:09:20 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66235.html <![CDATA[Funny video: If a fundamentalist christian was in a Trivia show]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66212.html Fri, 29 Nov 2024 18:31:11 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66212.html

]]>

]]> <![CDATA[The Life of Joan of Arc...]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66154.html Sat, 05 Oct 2024 03:25:53 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66154.html
Fake French Accent...

"Ah, ze voices in my 'ead are talking to me again!"

"I will lead your armies against the English, my king!"

"You see, with ze 'elp of God, I 'ave won zis battle!:

"Oh no, I 'ave lost a battle."

"Now, I 'ave been captured. But I believe God will rescue me. For I am 'Is chosen!"

"Sacre-bleu! My tits are on fire!"

The End.]]>
Fake French Accent...

"Ah, ze voices in my 'ead are talking to me again!"

"I will lead your armies against the English, my king!"

"You see, with ze 'elp of God, I 'ave won zis battle!:

"Oh no, I 'ave lost a battle."

"Now, I 'ave been captured. But I believe God will rescue me. For I am 'Is chosen!"

"Sacre-bleu! My tits are on fire!"

The End.]]> <![CDATA[The Abominable Imitation Game]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66110.html Thu, 05 Sep 2024 02:53:59 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66110.html
Pick something that we're likely to know and have an AI recast it in the style of another author or authors. Post here. Whoever guesses the original text gets to post the next synthetically generated horror. Bonus points if you can figure out the author(s) used to assemble the lurching abomination.

I'll kick this off with an easy one:

In shadowed halls where whispers creep,
I solemnly swear, my vigil keep,
To assume this throne with solemn grace,
And in this hallowed, somber place.

I pledge to guard with haunted might,
The ancient tome through the veil of night.
The Constitution’s cryptic, binding spell,
To shield its secrets where dark tales dwell.

In the dimmest depths where shadows lie,
With spectral gaze and resolve that won’t die,
I vow to protect this land, fraught and worn,
Till the morrow’s light or the dusk of scorn.

So let the silence bear my solemn creed,
As I fulfill this somber, darkened deed.

]]>
Pick something that we're likely to know and have an AI recast it in the style of another author or authors. Post here. Whoever guesses the original text gets to post the next synthetically generated horror. Bonus points if you can figure out the author(s) used to assemble the lurching abomination.

I'll kick this off with an easy one:

In shadowed halls where whispers creep,
I solemnly swear, my vigil keep,
To assume this throne with solemn grace,
And in this hallowed, somber place.

I pledge to guard with haunted might,
The ancient tome through the veil of night.
The Constitution’s cryptic, binding spell,
To shield its secrets where dark tales dwell.

In the dimmest depths where shadows lie,
With spectral gaze and resolve that won’t die,
I vow to protect this land, fraught and worn,
Till the morrow’s light or the dusk of scorn.

So let the silence bear my solemn creed,
As I fulfill this somber, darkened deed.

]]> <![CDATA[Do Barbies go to heaven?]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66102.html Sun, 01 Sep 2024 18:12:02 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66102.html
But on the other side, there is no church for Barbies, and she seems very independent and not subdued to a man like Paul ordered women to be if they want to go to heaven.

I'm lost. I need your help with solving this.]]>
But on the other side, there is no church for Barbies, and she seems very independent and not subdued to a man like Paul ordered women to be if they want to go to heaven.

I'm lost. I need your help with solving this.]]> <![CDATA[Is America ready for a racist, convict, lying, psychopath as a president?]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-66049.html Tue, 23 Jul 2024 19:39:06 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-66049.html <![CDATA[Transgender sports fan, w/ sense of humor.]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65978.html Sat, 01 Jun 2024 21:26:12 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65978.html
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/w7xDZc22Cqo]]>
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/w7xDZc22Cqo]]> <![CDATA[Bro It Up!]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65948.html Fri, 17 May 2024 10:57:47 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65948.html
Examples:

‘Resistance is futile, bro.’

‘I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse, bro.’

‘Call me Ishmael, bro.’

‘Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, bro.’

Boru]]>
Examples:

‘Resistance is futile, bro.’

‘I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse, bro.’

‘Call me Ishmael, bro.’

‘Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die, bro.’

Boru]]> <![CDATA[The Hysterical Jesus]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65947.html Thu, 16 May 2024 21:52:49 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65947.html
-Went round breaking up families out of ego.

-Threatened to chop people into little bits.

-Busted up a bank.

-Told off his poor old mum.

-Cursed a fig tree for the unpardonable sin of not bearing fruit out of season.

That lad could have used some anger management therapy.

Boru]]>
-Went round breaking up families out of ego.

-Threatened to chop people into little bits.

-Busted up a bank.

-Told off his poor old mum.

-Cursed a fig tree for the unpardonable sin of not bearing fruit out of season.

That lad could have used some anger management therapy.

Boru]]> <![CDATA[Let's all go to the moooooovies]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65928.html Sat, 27 Apr 2024 22:43:23 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65928.html ]]> ]]> <![CDATA[Strange Road Names]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65927.html Sat, 27 Apr 2024 21:11:49 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65927.html

]]>

]]> <![CDATA[Would you abort Jesus?]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65926.html Sat, 27 Apr 2024 04:00:20 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65926.html <![CDATA[New language rule]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65924.html Wed, 24 Apr 2024 17:46:01 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65924.html
Klingon
Elvish
Simlish
Wingdings
Dothraki
Kryptonian
Minionese
R'lyehian

]]>
Klingon
Elvish
Simlish
Wingdings
Dothraki
Kryptonian
Minionese
R'lyehian

]]> <![CDATA[Total Eclipse]]> https://atheistforums.org/thread-65903.html Mon, 08 Apr 2024 15:20:09 +0000 https://atheistforums.org/thread-65903.html