Women's clothes?

[Catholic_Lady]

Perhaps women shouldn't be "surprised" when that happens, but that still doesn't give men an excuse to objectify a woman. Men are not dogs and still have the ability to look away or to refrain from seeing a fellow human being as an object.

Well sure.  Technically I could.  But if, as in Bennyboy's example, I was simultaneously getting eyeful boobies and camel toe .. would it be wrong to just hump her a little bit?

As long as she "asks for it" by wearing sexy clothes, then it's all fair game, right? 

[Heat]

I'll stare wherever I want to stare.

Don't like it? Too fucking bad.

Mind your own goddamned business.

If a woman dresses sexy, then I think she knows she will get a few looks.

As Thena says, as long as it's just stares....and not menacing behavior,
then there's no REAL problem.

I have to raise the question, though:  what do you accomplish by staring?

I can understand a discreet appreciative glance;

but you're promising you will respond to any sexy attire with a meat-stare.

This puzzles and alarms me:


First of all, you'd stand a better chance of eventually getting to touch, and not merely look,
if you began by being civil, respectful, and if the opportunity permits, charming, to her.

(Now, maybe you feel that is unlikely, so you may as well treat yourself to an unapologetic eyeful;
but that brings me to my second point):

...aren't you just tormenting yourself?

Isn't that a bit like lingering outside the pizzeria when you're hungry and broke
just standing there, smelling the pizza cooking,
instead of getting yourself out of torture-range
of dwelling on what you cannot have?

So,

I can't help but wonder why it would be worth it for you to stare,
given both those reasons;

...much less sit and argue with women, about it, in an online forum,
where you make the point, to us, that you PLAN to stare,

...just as deliberately as you WILL stare, IRL.

Forgive me, but given the reasons I just provided,
as to why staring would be self-defeating,
I can't help but read that declaration as combative....and a bit disquieting.

It smacks of petulance and resentment.

You're not merely making a good-natured quip about appreciating a sexy woman's appearance;

you're making a promise that if any woman dares to dress provocatively enough to tempt you,
that you will make a point of STARING "where you like".

That is not quite "menacing", but it's certainly intimidating.

The message that it SEEMS like you wish to send, non-verbally, is this:

" I want to make sure there's no doubt in your mind, honey, that while I know what I'm not allowed to do,
I resent that you're allowed to tempt me, anyway, so I'm going to stand here salivating and staring at you,
like a tiger watching a taunting child on the other side of the glass at the zoo.
Yes...you're safe...but I'm not going to pretend for one second that I am happy about it,
and I want you to know that you're damn lucky that glass is between us. "

I can't be fucked to read your posts.  They are incredibly unorganized, long,  and simply a chore just to understand what you're trying to say.

[Catholic_Lady]

She actually makes a great point, and is polite about it. Give it a chance!

[MTL]

If a woman dresses sexy, then I think she knows she will get a few looks.

As Thena says, as long as it's just stares....and not menacing behavior,
then there's no REAL problem.

I have to raise the question, though:  what do you accomplish by staring?

I can understand a discreet appreciative glance;

but you're promising you will respond to any sexy attire with a meat-stare.

This puzzles and alarms me:


First of all, you'd stand a better chance of eventually getting to touch, and not merely look,
if you began by being civil, respectful, and if the opportunity permits, charming, to her.

(Now, maybe you feel that is unlikely, so you may as well treat yourself to an unapologetic eyeful;
but that brings me to my second point):

...aren't you just tormenting yourself?

Isn't that a bit like lingering outside the pizzeria when you're hungry and broke
just standing there, smelling the pizza cooking,
instead of getting yourself out of torture-range
of dwelling on what you cannot have?

So,

I can't help but wonder why it would be worth it for you to stare,
given both those reasons;

...much less sit and argue with women, about it, in an online forum,
where you make the point, to us, that you PLAN to stare,

...just as deliberately as you WILL stare, IRL.

Forgive me, but given the reasons I just provided,
as to why staring would be self-defeating,
I can't help but read that declaration as combative....and a bit disquieting.

It smacks of petulance and resentment.

You're not merely making a good-natured quip about appreciating a sexy woman's appearance;

you're making a promise that if any woman dares to dress provocatively enough to tempt you,
that you will make a point of STARING "where you like".

That is not quite "menacing", but it's certainly intimidating.

The message that it SEEMS like you wish to send, non-verbally, is this:

" I want to make sure there's no doubt in your mind, honey, that while I know what I'm not allowed to do,
I resent that you're allowed to tempt me, anyway, so I'm going to stand here salivating and staring at you,
like a tiger watching a taunting child on the other side of the glass at the zoo.
Yes...you're safe...but I'm not going to pretend for one second that I am happy about it,
and I want you to know that you're damn lucky that glass is between us. "

I can't be fucked to read your posts.  They are incredibly unorganized, long,  and simply a chore just to understand what you're trying to say.

Fair enough, they are long.

But I went to some pains to organize them into specific, orderly points.

[Whateverist]

Well sure.  Technically I could.  But if, as in Bennyboy's example, I was simultaneously getting eyeful boobies and camel toe .. would it be wrong to just hump her a little bit?

Yes, and if you do I kind of hope she punches you in the throat.

Not sexy!  

[MTL]

Good for you,  however the same logic doesn't apply to others who will get up in arms about people staring while wearing clothes specifically for the purpose of attention. 

I'm not trying to limit what women can and can't wear,  I'm just sick of the hypocrisy that comes with it.

You can stare all you like. Just remind yourself, the more you stare at naked or near naked women, the less likely you are to find one who would let you do anything more than stare. If you're fine with that, I'm fine with you staring.

Losty pretty much just said what I was trying to say,
only she said it faster and shorter.

[bennyboy]

Perhaps women shouldn't be "surprised" when that happens, but that still doesn't give men an excuse to objectify a woman. Men are not dogs and still have the ability to look away or to refrain from seeing a fellow human being as an object.

Actually, I think there's a hidden double-standard here. When a woman dresses provocatively, I think she knows it. And if the RIGHT PERSON notices, she'll be happy as hell. What she doesn't like is when someone she doesn't want to attract is attracted-- that is annoying for her. And that is a double standard, because she's judging some men as not being sexy/attractive/rich/whatever enough to deserve the show that she's putting on. In making herself attractive and enforcing standards, she's not only objectifying herself, but the men who she might implicity reject.

Do you think if Tom Cruise came up and stared at a woman's chest and said, "Mhhh hmmm, you are so beautiful" that she'd shout "Fuck you, Tom Cruise! Stop fucking objectifying me!"

I don't think so. That treatment is reserved for sub-standard mouth breathers like me and the other 90% of real human males.

[Athene]

All I said is that your view is not the same as the vast majority's.

Sure, if you say so.
Other than that, do you have a point?

[Losty]

Yes, and if you do I kind of hope she punches you in the throat.

Not sexy!  

I'm not required to be sexy all the time

[MTL]

She actually makes a great point, and is polite about it. Give it a chance!

Thanks Cath. 

I wish I had the gift of brevity, but I just don't.