(December 5, 2015 at 12:19 am)Heat Wrote:Judi Lynn Wrote:First of all, where in my post did I ever say to disregard the idea? Clearly as evidenced by your lengthy reply, you read way more into my comment than necessary.I may have mispoke.
Judi Lynn Wrote:Secondly, comparing the bully to the victim is like comparing an apple to an orange. The bully is violating the victim, who didn't ask to be violated or to become a victim. That choice was made for them the moment the bully decided to be a bully and go after their target.I never said any of that. Stop misrepresenting me.
I clearly mentioned numerous times I was in no way giving justification to bullying, the bad guy is very clear. However, that's not even the point I was addressing. I was not giving my opinion on the action itself, but the underlying cause. I'm not saying that it is in any way the victim's fault. I'm saying the fact of the matter is that the bully initiated the attack because in most circumstances he will be the one with the most problems. So we should treat each persons problems with the same importance. I am not suggesting that the victim deserved any of the attacks. I am simply saying that they are each different situations and are not linear like we are lead to believe. For the past many many years, we have swiftly scolded the bully as acting out for no reason, and have focused all our efforts on the victim. We have not even considered the fact that the bully may have serious issues himself. We have targeted all our ads toward saying bullying is bad.
The difference is that we have always targeted ads, hotlines, websites, help groups towards bullying prevention, and the victim speaking up. Although this may be effective, it is doing nothing to stop the bully from bullying in the first place.
You compared a bully to a victim the moment you asked, and I quote:
Quote: Is that not the same with the victim?
And you asked that because I said this:
Quote:Unfortunately, the bully would have to admit that this is what they are. Sadly, denial happens. No one really knows what goes on inside the heads of bullies to truly understand why they do the things they do. And actually, there are anger management programs that could possibly help. But that crucial first step is in getting the bully to admit that he is one and then further convince them that they need help.
So, it was not a mis-representation. All I did was take that comparison one step farther and expand on why it's unfair to do that. It's called furthering the discussion.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.