RE: Go fund me page
December 16, 2015 at 11:51 am
(This post was last modified: December 16, 2015 at 12:01 pm by Joods.)
(December 16, 2015 at 9:04 am)Tiberius Wrote: Seriously though, is there more backstory to this? Why was this brought to a judge in the first place? I'm struggling to comprehend how this situation even happened. I hope I'm not coming across too judgemental, but usually in these types of situations the parents actually did something wrong, because courts don't just summon people randomly and take their kids away.
Most of the back story is on the gofundme page, but I'll give you the rundown:
The back story, without having to write a novel, is that I wanted my oldest child, "J" to have a bond with her sister. J's biological father chose not to be involved with J since birth and I have raised her on my own since her birth. When she was three and a half, I started dating my ex, which resulted in my youngest one being born when J was 7 years old.
Since her sister was with me a week and then with my ex a week (week on/week off arrangement), I agreed back in 2009 to let my oldest go to him on that same arrangement. Up to that point, he wasn't interested because he didn't have anyone to help with J's daily needs (she has disabilities that, at the time required help). When his girlfriend moved in with him, he finally got interested in wanting to spend some time with J.
That arrangement lasted until January, 2011 when I revoked his visitation because he was not taking care of J and was sending both girls back to me in dirty clothes. He filed a petition for a modification to the custody order for the youngest, this time including the oldest. In his petition, he included that he had been caring for my oldest "in loco parentis" for over FIVE years. He listed both my mother and stepfather as witnesses for his side. There were so many lies that he had on his petition and I objected to every single one of them. He had legal representation. I couldn't afford my own attorney. That two day trial was very ugly and in the end, I found out during the trial, that my own family had been going behind my back for the last year and was spending time with my ex. Their reason was because I told my mother that she was violating the boundaries I had set up for my girls and her toxicity wasn't what I wanted around my kids. We got in a huge fight about it and so, for my kids safety, I stopped speaking with my family in 2010. My mother contacted my ex behind my back shortly after that so that she could continue seeing my kids.
Not only that, but my mother lied to the judge and said that my ex had always been involved in my oldest child's life, when she damn well knew he wanted nothing to do with her for the seven years between 2002 and 2009. I also found out during the trial that my sister was helping to pay for my ex's legal fees.
Because of that and the fact that he also stated he had always been in her life, the judge modified the custody order we had in place for my youngest, to include to giving him 50/50 custody of my oldest. Despite my witness testimony proving he wasn't involved in J's life for 7 years, I honestly think that because I didn't have legal representation, the judge sided with my ex. There was no compelling reason for the judge to have awarded my ex with any sort of custody, especially since her biological father, although not physically involved in her life, had been paying support since 1999 and was not willing to give up his rights.
Since that 2011 custody trial, my ex has taken me back to court four times. One of those was after J had turned 18. Given that he had joint legal custody of my daughter, he filed for guardianship in 2013. The hearing was in January 2014, and again, he had my family siding for him. Despite the fact that I have been the primary attachment figure since birth, the judge gave my ex full plenary guardianship. During that hearing my ex testified that the only reason he wanted guardianship was to teach me a lesson that he was "not going away". He also testified that he wanted me to remain fully involved in J's life. I still question how the hell cutting me out of her life is being fully involved. I have been through both the superior court and the supreme court of PA. Both appeals have been denied. I don't drink. I don't do drugs and I have never done anything that would warrant my child being separated from me like this.
My ex is a psychopathic narcissist and the only reason why he keeps litigation going is because he is a power hungry control freak who is pissed that I got away from him in 2002. The more independent I got, the worse he became. He has done some truly despicable things to me and because he is a manipulative liar, he gets away with it.
He is abusive, has convinced my family that he is infallable, gets them to pay for his attorney, makes up lies and makes me look bad. In the last ten years of dealing with him in court, I am worn out. I'm tired of his endless litigation because this is what he does when he gets bored and is in need of supply to feed his ego. Since he can't control me, he uses my kids as weapons because he knows that's what will hurt me the most. The courts in PA are the 5th most corrupt in the US. I am fighting a losing battle by having to do this on my own. So much has happened because of him that I probably could write a book about it and never in my life have I ever seen someone want to destroy another person as much as he is trying to destroy me.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
