Cognitive dissonance

[MTL]

It probably helped that I was never raised with any nonsense stories about living forever, or heaven. I can see how being made to believe that as a child could make it harder when you realize later on that it's not true. You've lost something, in effect.

So true.

I hate to admit to it, but for me, the loss of the "invisible best friend" was worse than the loss of "everlasting life".

I figured, "I'll be dead, I won't be aware of the loss; it's not like I'll be suffering somewhere, wishing I was still alive."


But the loss of that perceived friend left an enormous hole; a great loneliness
...even though I see it was only self-deception all along.


And if I was to be really honest,
(even though I still want to enjoy my life as much as possible for as long as possible)
I also now regard death as a bit if a relief, too, from the continuous strife of the world,
although maybe that's a shitty attitude for me to have, even in part.

It's just that although we have plenty of awesome traits,
humanity also has so much bullshit,

...and the upside of death is that at least you're finally  shut of it.