Well, as someone that has been in a committed relationship with the same person for over 20 years, I can say unequivocally that love is not the be-all end-all to having meaning in your life. Hell, the first 15 years of that relationship was one big existential crisis. Having someone that loved me and quite often demonstrated that they were willing to do whatever they could for me was definitely not enough. The lack of meaning I felt was a personal one that no amount of outside validation could remedy.
You have to remember that we're sold an extremely romanticized version of love and relationships by movies and books. Happily ever after doesn't exist. Most love is fleeting, and our brains change enough over time that it is highly likely that any love you experience will fade. Our brains are essentially big pots of chemical soup, and love is really just a chemical reaction in your brain. We need a certain level of certain neurotransmitters to maintain a happy mood, and how we go about our daily lives definitely affects that. The different relationships we have with other people release different chemicals into our brains, which make us feel satisfied. If you find yourself only being satisfied by romantic relationships, it's most likely that you are experiencing some sort of chemical imbalance that the stimulation of a relationship helps to fix, which leads to a feeling of satisfaction and validation.
That's why some people get addicted to drugs easily. They lack the proper neurotransmitters, so when they take the drugs that release those neurotransmitters, their brains start craving that alternative source. You're essentially using love as your drug. When you're in a relationship, you get the stimulation that releases those transmitters. But when the relationship ends,you lose that source of neurotransmitters, and your brain is hardwired to want to repeat whatever it was that was giving you that. Thus, you crave a relationship and feel meaningless without it.
You have to remember that we're pretty much complex biological robots. It feels as if certain things make us happy, but what it really is that those things are the stimulation that releases the neurotransmitters that make us feel happiness. The good news is there are all kinds of things beside a relationship that release the chemicals we need, like exercise. The key is finding what works for you.
You have to remember that we're sold an extremely romanticized version of love and relationships by movies and books. Happily ever after doesn't exist. Most love is fleeting, and our brains change enough over time that it is highly likely that any love you experience will fade. Our brains are essentially big pots of chemical soup, and love is really just a chemical reaction in your brain. We need a certain level of certain neurotransmitters to maintain a happy mood, and how we go about our daily lives definitely affects that. The different relationships we have with other people release different chemicals into our brains, which make us feel satisfied. If you find yourself only being satisfied by romantic relationships, it's most likely that you are experiencing some sort of chemical imbalance that the stimulation of a relationship helps to fix, which leads to a feeling of satisfaction and validation.
That's why some people get addicted to drugs easily. They lack the proper neurotransmitters, so when they take the drugs that release those neurotransmitters, their brains start craving that alternative source. You're essentially using love as your drug. When you're in a relationship, you get the stimulation that releases those transmitters. But when the relationship ends,you lose that source of neurotransmitters, and your brain is hardwired to want to repeat whatever it was that was giving you that. Thus, you crave a relationship and feel meaningless without it.
You have to remember that we're pretty much complex biological robots. It feels as if certain things make us happy, but what it really is that those things are the stimulation that releases the neurotransmitters that make us feel happiness. The good news is there are all kinds of things beside a relationship that release the chemicals we need, like exercise. The key is finding what works for you.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell