If by child-like mind you mean that I lacked guidance throughout my youth, and now as an adult I have had to figure things out the hard way, you're right. I have had to learn life lessons by making mistakes. I am not ashamed of that. Statistically I should be a junkie, vapid and wasting away in some shack and on food stamps. I had a hard childhood, and I had to learn how to become self-sufficient, not only for myself, but for all the people who depended on me for survival. Instead of shrugging off responsibilities that shouldn't have been mine, I took control of my life. I was a virgin the first time I ever gave a lap dance, and at that moment, completely naive to the world, and I made some horrific, although well-intended mistakes, but I never let life knock me to the ground. My sisters graduated at the top of their classes, because they had me pushing them, and guiding them the best that I knew how. A luxury I didn't get. That's why they aren't strippers. That's why one of them is months away from being a doctor of veterinary science, and the other is a school teacher.
I never loathed dancing, there were times early on when it made me uncomfortable, but eventually I came to enjoy it. I also put myself through college and earned a degree in psychology. I am still putting myself through college, and have saved money very responsibly since I was 18, when a child-like mind would think to squander it.
I think there is no dignity in being ashamed of yourself. I would only be ashamed of myself if I had hurt someone in some way, and I have hurt some people, and I am ashamed of that. I am not ashamed of utilizing my youth and physical form to fund my dreams. Being a stripper was never my dream, but it has helped me get closer to my dreams than anyone believed I would.
I understand that you have different ideas about what is culturally acceptable, mehmet, all I have been trying to explain to you is that things are much different here, and regardless of anyone's personal opinions about how I've lived my life, I am proud of myself every day for where I started, to where I am now and everything in between. It's not the mistakes that one makes that define the person, it's how they handle the consequences of the mistakes. If a person wants to define me by my mistakes, they can do that, but I don't have to do that, and I refuse to do that.
I never loathed dancing, there were times early on when it made me uncomfortable, but eventually I came to enjoy it. I also put myself through college and earned a degree in psychology. I am still putting myself through college, and have saved money very responsibly since I was 18, when a child-like mind would think to squander it.
I think there is no dignity in being ashamed of yourself. I would only be ashamed of myself if I had hurt someone in some way, and I have hurt some people, and I am ashamed of that. I am not ashamed of utilizing my youth and physical form to fund my dreams. Being a stripper was never my dream, but it has helped me get closer to my dreams than anyone believed I would.
I understand that you have different ideas about what is culturally acceptable, mehmet, all I have been trying to explain to you is that things are much different here, and regardless of anyone's personal opinions about how I've lived my life, I am proud of myself every day for where I started, to where I am now and everything in between. It's not the mistakes that one makes that define the person, it's how they handle the consequences of the mistakes. If a person wants to define me by my mistakes, they can do that, but I don't have to do that, and I refuse to do that.
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