There's a priest in confessional, and he's doing the regular thing.
A girl comes in and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
The priest asks her what she has done, and she says, "I let my
boyfriend put his fingers in me."
The priest looked down the list (you know they have one!) and said,
"All right, that'll be two Hail Marys and an our father."
The girl leaves, and a little while later, another girl enters.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
He asks this girl what she's done, and she says, "I allowed my
boyfriend to perform oral sex on me."
The priest again looks down the list, sees female oral sex, and
read it off, "Three hail maries and two our fathers."
The girl then leaves. A little while later, the priest is getting
restless - he had some chili for lunch, and it's coming back to haunt
him. Finanlly, he goes out, grabs a janitor, and says, "Al, you gotta
man the booth for me, I'm about to shit my pants!"
The janitor looks dazes, and says, "I can't do that!"
The priest says, "Sure you can. Just ask 'em what they've done,
and read the punishment off the list."
The janitor reluctantly gets in the booth.
A few minutes later, a girl comes into the booth and says, "Forgive
me father, for I have sinned."
The janitor says, "Uh, whatcha do?"
The girl says, "I gave my boyfriend a blowjob."
The janitor looks down the list... Shit! He thinks to himself,
There's nothing here for blowjob. He runs out of the booth and looks
for someone who might know. He grabs a choirboy and asks, "Hey kid,
what does the priest usually give for a blowjob?"
The choirboy replied, "Usually a Snickers bar and a pat on the head."
A 92 year old man goes to confession. The moment he's settled in,
he blurts out, "Father, I had sex with a pair of nineteen year olds!"
The priest says, "Wait a minute. I don't recognize your voice.
Are you a member of this parish?"
The old man says, "No I'm not."
"But you are Roman Catholic, aren't you?"
"No I'm not."
"Well, why are you telling me about it?"
The old man says, "Hell, I'm telling everyone about it!"
A girl comes in and says, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
The priest asks her what she has done, and she says, "I let my
boyfriend put his fingers in me."
The priest looked down the list (you know they have one!) and said,
"All right, that'll be two Hail Marys and an our father."
The girl leaves, and a little while later, another girl enters.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
He asks this girl what she's done, and she says, "I allowed my
boyfriend to perform oral sex on me."
The priest again looks down the list, sees female oral sex, and
read it off, "Three hail maries and two our fathers."
The girl then leaves. A little while later, the priest is getting
restless - he had some chili for lunch, and it's coming back to haunt
him. Finanlly, he goes out, grabs a janitor, and says, "Al, you gotta
man the booth for me, I'm about to shit my pants!"
The janitor looks dazes, and says, "I can't do that!"
The priest says, "Sure you can. Just ask 'em what they've done,
and read the punishment off the list."
The janitor reluctantly gets in the booth.
A few minutes later, a girl comes into the booth and says, "Forgive
me father, for I have sinned."
The janitor says, "Uh, whatcha do?"
The girl says, "I gave my boyfriend a blowjob."
The janitor looks down the list... Shit! He thinks to himself,
There's nothing here for blowjob. He runs out of the booth and looks
for someone who might know. He grabs a choirboy and asks, "Hey kid,
what does the priest usually give for a blowjob?"
The choirboy replied, "Usually a Snickers bar and a pat on the head."
A 92 year old man goes to confession. The moment he's settled in,
he blurts out, "Father, I had sex with a pair of nineteen year olds!"
The priest says, "Wait a minute. I don't recognize your voice.
Are you a member of this parish?"
The old man says, "No I'm not."
"But you are Roman Catholic, aren't you?"
"No I'm not."
"Well, why are you telling me about it?"
The old man says, "Hell, I'm telling everyone about it!"
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
