(November 25, 2013 at 12:27 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I just think flirting is such wonderful, harmless fun that people should feel it can be for an ego boost and mood leavening - not just as a tool of conquest.
In what way is flirting supposed to give you an ego boost exactly?
The 3 main motives for flirting could be:
(a) for your own self-esteem
(b) because you actually like the person who you were flirting with
(c) you just want to be in a relationship with someone
The last two are related since if you like that person, then that means that you are flirting because you want to develop a relationship with him, which can also suggest that you are doing this because you don't want to be alone.
However, if you view that flirting is more for the purpose of your own ego boost (through someone else) than actually liking that person, then I think that is kind of a 'forced' ego boost and that's why it is not real, but artificial. You probably wouldn't want to flirt for that reason if you felt that you already had enough self-esteem in the first place. And this kind of volatile ego boost won't last for very long; it is shallow and wanes away quickly.
The whole act is mostly a flattering behavior. You are basically trying to draw attention toward yourself, and then you get a good feeling just out of getting more attention.
