Demons?

[Avodaiah]

Maybe God has a reason for doing it that we don't know? That would make Him smarter than us, not dumber.

No, that would make God's reason different from ours, not better or worse. Whether it is in fact smarter depends critically on what those reasons are. If God's reasons regarding the rebellion are as quality as those given to Job, being "mysterious" need never enter into it. He's just a crazy, egomaniacal asshole, whom today's children of five are eminently superior to in character and ethics. Moreover, this still doesn't explain why the 1/3 who rebelled are still being punished for making a decision which was not freely chosen. Vindictive asshole and apparently hadn't invented basic logic by that point in "non-time".

If God really does exist, we would expect Him to be this way, wouldn't we?

Funny how that doesn't actually resolve the problem, but is immensely convenient for you when your usual "I know God's intentions" style of apologetic fails you. I wonder why that is?

I never claim to know God's intentions. In fact, by calling God a "vindictive asshole" and morally inferior to "today's children of five", it is you who are presuming God's intentions. You're saying that God is in the wrong, but you give no other reason than that God's actions do not make sense to you. But why would they? He's God, and we're not.