Is Hell or Prison the best cure for immorality?

[Bob Kelso]

I do not understand your obsession with masturbating still. I do know that men with below average penile lengths tend to feel inadequate and compensate with aggressive behavior. Tell me this though, when you masturbate do you use tweezers to gloss your pickle since it is so small? Have you ever tried pushing it through a straw perhaps? Would that not be easier?

If you'd like to see the size of my dick please feel free to speak with anyone who's been in Area 69, (or go look yourself!) I even did special requests!

Edit: I mean, I am an atheist after all. I rely upon evidence.