Here's the problem. In sociology class there is often discussion of religion. Whenever the topic comes up my heart starts racing. I think I have been nurtured by my lifestyle to react to religion in such a way. My classmates however, often disconfirm or even reject my contributions to the discussion. I'm acting largely impulsively and often the consequences are that I get angry, I feel my self esteem drop.
I even heard one girl in class whisper "that guy is so stupid" when I asked the teacher if Africans thinking that aids is a curse would be an example of a "bad belief" when she said there are bad beliefs. On the next day the same girl told the teacher in the middle of class "I think some people like to be childish and say irrelevant things and should keep their mouth shut". teacher was talking about various types of norms: mores, folways and laws. I asked her if wearing an atheist t shirt I ordered would be a more and before she could answer, the same girl in the class who called me stupid yelled out "oh my god!" as her mom just embarrassed her or something.
At first when she did that my heart was pumping and I was in the heat of the moment, but for the next few days I felt some seriously toxic effects of this scenario. I felt depressed, angry, it hurt my self esteem. I went back into class today and when the teacher was talking about what we learn from families, schools, teachers, mass media, workplace, government, and religion, when the teacher finally got to religion and was asking for examples of how religion teaches us I raised my hand and said that it tells kids stuff that they're too young to make up their own mind about yet on what's right and wrong. She was either oblivious to what I was implying or she was just playing it off and she wrote on the board "it teaches us about right and wrong". The class was silent and I heard a couple kids laughing.
I just can't stand this sociology class. I want to instigate these kids, because I seriously hate this class. Every time I'm in this class I feel such anxiety, like everyone is my enemy and there's 100 eyes casting their judgement on me. Whenever I start to feel my blood boil though all of that psychological noise gets blocked out and all I can think of is how I want to say something provocative. I think about how if there was another atheist in the class that they would probably not appreciate what I was doing. I just don't know how I can go on in that class anymore. It's eating me up on the inside.
I even heard one girl in class whisper "that guy is so stupid" when I asked the teacher if Africans thinking that aids is a curse would be an example of a "bad belief" when she said there are bad beliefs. On the next day the same girl told the teacher in the middle of class "I think some people like to be childish and say irrelevant things and should keep their mouth shut". teacher was talking about various types of norms: mores, folways and laws. I asked her if wearing an atheist t shirt I ordered would be a more and before she could answer, the same girl in the class who called me stupid yelled out "oh my god!" as her mom just embarrassed her or something.
At first when she did that my heart was pumping and I was in the heat of the moment, but for the next few days I felt some seriously toxic effects of this scenario. I felt depressed, angry, it hurt my self esteem. I went back into class today and when the teacher was talking about what we learn from families, schools, teachers, mass media, workplace, government, and religion, when the teacher finally got to religion and was asking for examples of how religion teaches us I raised my hand and said that it tells kids stuff that they're too young to make up their own mind about yet on what's right and wrong. She was either oblivious to what I was implying or she was just playing it off and she wrote on the board "it teaches us about right and wrong". The class was silent and I heard a couple kids laughing.
I just can't stand this sociology class. I want to instigate these kids, because I seriously hate this class. Every time I'm in this class I feel such anxiety, like everyone is my enemy and there's 100 eyes casting their judgement on me. Whenever I start to feel my blood boil though all of that psychological noise gets blocked out and all I can think of is how I want to say something provocative. I think about how if there was another atheist in the class that they would probably not appreciate what I was doing. I just don't know how I can go on in that class anymore. It's eating me up on the inside.
