Who did you hang with?

[emjay]

I always had trouble fitting in when I was at school, no matter who I hung out with. My first group of friends were mainly nerds and geeks. We played Warhammer and stuff like that and they were nerdy know-it-alls (and atheists... I was a still a Christian then and fought a losing battle with them on that score). Then later I started hanging around with the cool kids at the park. They spent all their time outside getting into trouble and were always drinking and getting stoned. But I was shy, awkward, naive, clueless, and way too trusting so I was really only part of their group to be taken advantage of in various ways or to be the (I guess on some level, willing) butt of jokes. Then when I came out, at age fifteen, it was even harder to fit in because of the homophobia. I was only physically attacked twice to my memory, but it wasn't that bad because both times I came away unscathed thinking 'is that all you got?' about my cowardly attackers who both times took me unawares, once hitting me in the back, and once hiding behind a wall and jumping me on my way home from school. So I wasn't really bullied per se but I was ostracised at times; having to spend a lot of the time sitting alone in a classroom at break times listening to my Walkman. Then there were the girls who just wanted a 'token' gay friend. It was clear they didn't really like me but it was like a status symbol to be able to say they had a gay friend. But all this said, I had some good times, and I wouldn't change my school experience for the world.