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what is a healthy way to deal with uncertainty?
#11
RE: what is a healthy way to deal with uncertainty?
(April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm)Jextin Wrote: i am planning on buying a camaro this sunday, but having huge bouts of anxiety like, "what if its a lemon?"

So? What if it is? You seem intnet on buying this particular car


(April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm)Jextin Wrote: or "what if someone buys it before me?"

So? What if that happens? You may be spared a "lemon" and have to keep looking

(April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm)Jextin Wrote: back when i was christian i'd say "well, if God planned it for me, it will work out, if it doesn't its for the best." .....and if it worked out i'd be super praising jesus, but if it didn't work out id be like WTFF WHYY GOD DAMN IT WHYYYY???


How is this different to now? You are still doing the same thing aren't you?

(April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm)Jextin Wrote: So how would you deal with uncertainty? what keeps u together in anxious moments? how do u know things will be okay?

I keep telling myself that "things will be ok because I'm not stupid, have coped with so much in my life... and I'm STILL here.

(April 18, 2013 at 8:34 pm)Jextin Wrote: for me, i'm trying to practice my zen philosophy such that, all we have is this moment .

As Halcyonic has suggested, this may be a better path for you. Me? I would go further and just divorce myself from wanting an outcome totally and just see what happens. Make my plans surely but not depend on them, because..... life is uncertain.
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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#12
RE: what is a healthy way to deal with uncertainty?



I think... (questionable premise) that you will worry whether things turn out alright or not. And them turning out alright (or not) will not stop the worry. It's not the things causing the worry.

I'd suggest it's expectations and habit (of worry), but I'm not up to a substantive response here right now. If Zen works for you, work it. I have derived great comfort over the years from, "Chop wood, carry water." But use your head. There's a Buddhist parable wherein a man sees another on horseback thundering by. He asks the man, "Where are you going?" And the man on the horse replies, "I don't know. Ask the horse!" The point of the parable is that an out of control mind goes where it wills; only by bringing the mind under control will you be able to get it to go where you want to go. But I think there is a second level to this parable that is unacknowledged. That second level is that pursuing answers like Buddhism and meditation can itself become a horse which goes where it pleases, rather than worrying about where you want it to take you. Meditational practice, and the flurry of metaphysical and psychological baggage which often goes with it, can deprive you of control just as surely as its opposite.

Anyway. Just spitballing here...


[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
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#13
RE: what is a healthy way to deal with uncertainty?
I used to be consumed with worry about things in my life, but I eventually realized that almost every time the anxiety over something was much worse than the actual thing I was obsessing over. After a few really stressful events in my life, I came to the conclusion that life would be unbearable if I wasn't able to stop obsessing over everything. Now I live with a sort of Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski attitude. So much so that my wife often thinks I don't care about important things.

You just have to realize that there are things in life beyond your control, and no level of worry or obsession is going to give you any more control over them. Once I was able to truly recognize this and embrace it, I was able to quit worrying obsessively.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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