Not in Alanland.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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Current time: May 9, 2024, 1:42 am
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On a day long-forgotten, in a country ill-remembered2, two boys named Steve and Alan left their homes. Their faces were grave, for they were performing a serious task for the public good. They were on a quest to find Ethan, and stop his nuisance tricks for good.
Now, however, we must diverge from the thrilling action to come and talk about the personalities of these two. Steve, though young, was skilled at woodsman activities, i.e. woodcutting, farming, mining, starting a fire, and hunting. Alan, on the other hand, was docile and preferred to spend most of his time indoors, working on various things (like math problems or making up laws) ad infinitum. Despite their differences, the two boys were fast friends and always faithful to each other. We now go back to the story. This journey was the two boys' first outside of their hometown (a large suburb of Quindaro). Before they left, they had been briefed on how to find Ethan by their local MP, John Freid (T-QN)3. "If you boys really want to go through with this, I've got a contact at the Holiday Inn Express by the Pfangle on Martin Sheen Way. He knows Ethan's last location.", Freid said while drinking a venti ginger ale. So the boys went out. They reached the aforementioned Holiday Inn Express, only to find the contact missing. However, he did leave a note saying Ethan had returned to his hometown of Eastwest Boscoria. After pondering the note over their own venti ginger ale, Steve decided to follow the information. Alan just wanted to stay in the Starbucks and rearrange the drinking straws. When they arrived in Eastwest Boscoria, they were struck by the stink of its industry. Steve surmised, "Ethan wouldn't stand this stench! He probably would want to go where it was the least." So following their noses, they came to the cleanest part of Eastwest Boscoria: the cemetery. Above its iron gate was inscribed "TEMPUS FUGIT MEMENTO MORI"4. Alan reflected, "That's an appropriate motto for a cemetery.", as Steve marched in with reckless abandon. After Alan had hurried to catch up, they ran into an old man. The boys were a bit shocked at his sudden appearance, but Steve pressed on. "Have you seen Ethan?" he asked the old man. "No", replied the man, "but he's here." Steve then dashed off to find Ethan while Alan started to arrange the gravel in the path into a pattern. While Alan was doing this, he became aware of a person looking over his shoulder. Ethan's scream of frustration sent Alan flying several feet fro his previous position. "This is why I hate this country! This sort of tomfoolery is encouraged!” yelled Ethan, "And to top it off, you sit there and do it over and over! I've had enough! I'm leaving here, never to return!" As Ethan stormed off, Steve came rushing around the bend. "Was that him?" he asked. "Yup", Alan replied, "He didn't seem to care for my little pastimes." The boys returned home as heroes, having driven out the annoying Ethan. They received the Goat Medal of Bravery, and there was a parade in their honor. Steve went on to have his own reality TV show5. Alan, however, went on to have a far more illustrious career6. But that is a tale for another time. The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
They're all gonna laugh at you!
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy 
You are gonna laugh at all!
piffle
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
paffle
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion. -- Superintendent Chalmers Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things. -- Ned Flanders Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. -- The Rev Lovejoy
pqffle
poolffle
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