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This time last year I was new to being an atheist. My life was undergoing so many good changes while my brain was trying to find a way to recover from the past I had recently escaped from.
I was struggling a lot with feelings of shame for being "crazy". I tried so hard to internalize my issues. Bury my monsters, if you will. I stopped sleeping to avoid the nightmares and the nightmares started finding me in my waking hours.
I joined the forum in March. I think I probably mostly did a great job of appearing normal here.
June...June was a bad month for me. At the end of it I ended up in the hospital for a while. Then hiding out in my grandmother's basement somewhat terrified of being attacked for most of July. July was a huge changer for me though. I met someone and became close friends with him. He didn't scare me. I trusted him. In a strictly friendship type of way.
He changed everything for me. He made me reevaluate my opinion about trust and love. He showed me love in a way I had never seen it. His friendship helped me remember my humanity. I am a person. I can be valued. I have worth. There are people who really care about me and I don't have to be afraid to let them in. I accidentally fell in love with him
More changes that I can't really share, but I'll just say they were huge changes to my life. I feel like I am starting to come out of my shell for real, not just sexually. I feel like a real person. I feel loved and am in love.
Apart from one minor setback I haven't had any real life nightmares (yes my therapist called them hallucinations but I don't like the word just because it makes me feel psycho) in several months.
I haven't talked to anyone in my family for months. I miss my sisters and nephews the most. It hurts sometimes but I have made a vow to cut out everyone who is toxic to myself and my children. I am going to pave a new life for us. One where our futures look bright and safe and happy.
This year is looking so good for us. I am excited about it. I hope everyone else is having a great start to their new year. No matter what you've been through or are going through, there's always a reason to keep going. Find what makes your life beautiful, for me it's the people I love, it makes every struggle worth it. I've been getting closer to you people and I like that
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay
0/10
Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
This time last year I was new to being an atheist. My life was undergoing so many good changes while my brain was trying to find a way to recover from the past I had recently escaped from.
I was struggling a lot with feelings of shame for being "crazy". I tried so hard to internalize my issues. Bury my monsters, if you will. I stopped sleeping to avoid the nightmares and the nightmares started finding me in my waking hours.
I joined the forum in March. I think I probably mostly did a great job of appearing normal here.
June...June was a bad month for me. At the end of it I ended up in the hospital for a while. Then hiding out in my grandmother's basement somewhat terrified of being attacked for most of July. July was a huge changer for me though. I met someone and became close friends with him. He didn't scare me. I trusted him. In a strictly friendship type of way.
He changed everything for me. He made me reevaluate my opinion about trust and love. He showed me love in a way I had never seen it. His friendship helped me remember my humanity. I am a person. I can be valued. I have worth. There are people who really care about me and I don't have to be afraid to let them in. I accidentally fell in love with him
More changes that I can't really share, but I'll just say they were huge changes to my life. I feel like I am starting to come out of my shell for real, not just sexually. I feel like a real person. I feel loved and am in love.
Apart from one minor setback I haven't had any real life nightmares (yes my therapist called them hallucinations but I don't like the word just because it makes me feel psycho) in several months.
I haven't talked to anyone in my family for months. I miss my sisters and nephews the most. It hurts sometimes but I have made a vow to cut out everyone who is toxic to myself and my children. I am going to pave a new life for us. One where our futures look bright and safe and happy.
This year is looking so good for us. I am excited about it. I hope everyone else is having a great start to their new year. No matter what you've been through or are going through, there's always a reason to keep going. Find what makes your life beautiful, for me it's the people I love, it makes every struggle worth it. I've been getting closer to you people and I like that
This year I want to be a fire engine.
MM
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions" - Leonardo da Vinci
"I think I use the term “radical” rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one ... etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously." - Douglas Adams (and I echo the sentiment)
Never ever ever compromise your sleep, become OCD to the minute for your bedtime, that is the biggest secret that I've come across when dealing with my family's mental issues. (MiL, Sd, Wf) <unsolicited advice>
It's amazing how anyone can be affected by poor sleep patterns. I hope you do everything you can to be healthy as you can be because you are valuable to us.
Hi Losty, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I think you've been very brave, and have focused on what is important to you. I totally agree that cutting out negative people from your life can be essential. It's hard and it's
painful, but you have to look after yourself and those dependent on you. So good job for being strong.
I hope this year is a good one for you and that you continue to feel more comfortable. You are sounding very positive, so I have high hopes!
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.
If you are ever afraid of being attacked just remember that there's always the kitchen knife... Those tools can cut wonderfully, really well...
Best wishes and lots of horny sex.
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
