Posts: 4196
Threads: 60
Joined: September 8, 2011
Reputation:
30
What if the bible were rewritten?
June 23, 2015 at 7:31 pm
Let us take every reference to god from the bible and replace it with Hitler, Stalin, Yakubu Gowon, Mengistu Haile Mariam, Kim Il Sung, Brakeman (Oh, I meant Pol Pot), Idi Amin (and cannot leave the women out) Queen Mary I of England, Isabella of Castile, Ilse Koch or any other name that you would care to insert.
Is not the bible a fitting 'history' for any of these people?
Anyone have some better substitutions?
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
Posts: 44047
Threads: 529
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 23, 2015 at 7:40 pm
Oh, you meant rewritten that way. I thought you meant like adding Terminators and stuff. Oh, well.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 23, 2015 at 7:41 pm
It has been re-written repeatedly.
By a bunch of shitty editors who still can't make it interesting.
Posts: 380
Threads: 17
Joined: February 10, 2015
Reputation:
12
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 23, 2015 at 7:43 pm
(This post was last modified: June 23, 2015 at 7:44 pm by Metis.)
There was an experiment done in Israel a few years ago where episodes from the OT like the fall of Jericho had all the names replaced by those of actual historical personages and places in China.
It was then given to elementary schoolboys who were asked if what "the Jade Emperor" a.k.a OT God did was good or not. The ones being given the original said yes, those who saw the Chinese version said no.
Wish I could remember what it was called, I first encountered it in one of Karen Armstrong's journal articles as a reference. Maybe I still have it on my hard drive
Posts: 4196
Threads: 60
Joined: September 8, 2011
Reputation:
30
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 23, 2015 at 7:54 pm
If you find it, link it. I will do the same.
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers
Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
Posts: 30129
Threads: 304
Joined: April 18, 2014
Reputation:
92
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 24, 2015 at 12:42 am
Joe Smith rewrote the Bible, and then announced a revelation direct from God commanding his (Joe's) church to publish it. Over 100 years later, the RLDS (Community of Christ) has published it, LDS has NOT.
And if you think Old Joe fixed anything when he had the chance, think again. His bible is so embarrassingly bad, it becomes apparent why the LDS hasn't published it.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
155
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 24, 2015 at 1:15 am
Oh, for sure. If Yahweh was a human doing all those things, anyone with any moral fibre would call him evil.
The get out of jail free card is that God "defines" morality. If he does it, it must be moral, even when he's poking his dick right in your eye while you're trying to concentrate.
The NT attempt at God is a lot better, but very far from perfect. At least if you randomly pick stuff from the NT there's a chance of coming across something nice sounding. Pretty impossible with the OT.
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
73
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 24, 2015 at 1:30 am
The passage about donkey dicks undermines all its credibility. It's obvious the authors were Poes.
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
155
RE: What if the bible were rewritten?
June 24, 2015 at 1:38 am
OT = optional testament
NT = nicer testament
