I need a therapist

[ScienceAf]

I know depression personally. I wanted to kill myself many times. I didn't. I didn't want to kill myself for silly reasons like my xbox was taken away or some shit.

It was because I knew that as a brown person I would have to work twice as hard as the white man next to me,
I would be a minority for being atheist,
my dad's dying, etc.

And I'd recommend anti depressants but have you seen the side effects.

Take Valium for example.

Side effects:
Fainting
Dizziness
Thoughts of suicide,
Death, etc


Maybe some minor anti depressants would work but in reality they don't solve anything.

I thought this through because I knew that this man's life is in need of help.

I'm not gonna throw out advice that I haven't researched.

I don't like telling people how they feel but I'm pretty sure you were just feeling sadder than usual and your negative thoughts made it worse, but you weren't depressed. Depression isn't something you can think away. Possible side effects aren't worse than depression at all. If your anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts then they aren't doing their job, when that happens you try another brand. 

If it was that easy do you really think millions of people in the US alone would be depressed and live shitty lives if it could be magically fixed by thinking it through? Also, you mentioned you're already tall and have body hair that means your sadness was probably caused by hormones, mood swings whereas op is 29 and clearly has a difficult time that can't be thought away.

I imagine it's rather offensive to tell a depressed person "Just think it away", it's the equilivant of saying "it's all in your mind" and is quite false. 

Your negative thoughts caused depression and suicidal behavior, the problem is when your depression causes negative thoughts and suicidal behavior, there's a big difference.

I didn't think it away for a while.
For a very long time.

[ScienceAf]

I don't like telling people how they feel but I'm pretty sure you were just feeling sadder than usual and your negative thoughts made it worse, but you weren't depressed. Depression isn't something you can think away. Possible side effects aren't worse than depression at all. If your anti-depressants cause suicidal thoughts then they aren't doing their job, when that happens you try another brand. 

If it was that easy do you really think millions of people in the US alone would be depressed and live shitty lives if it could be magically fixed by thinking it through? Also, you mentioned you're already tall and have body hair that means your sadness was probably caused by hormones, mood swings whereas op is 29 and clearly has a difficult time that can't be thought away.

I imagine it's rather offensive to tell a depressed person "Just think it away", it's the equilivant of saying "it's all in your mind" and is quite false. 

Your negative thoughts caused depression and suicidal behavior, the problem is when your depression causes negative thoughts and suicidal behavior, there's a big difference.

I didn't think it away for a while.
For a very long time.

And who said that I said to just think it away. I just thought medication isn't exactly the first option you should take.

[Cyberman]

This is what you're basing your advice on? Lets see, not prescribed, no medical management and combining with ETOH.

With your limited experience with either of these medication categories I think you might want to back away.

I know, right? There was this one time I was poking at my eye with a sharp pencil, and suddenly it went in. I mean, no warning on the pencil or anything.

I would have written and complained to the company, but I couldn't find my pencil.

[Simon Moon]

I am so confused about what to do in life. I don't know if I should just end things with my wife. I don't know if I should continue with my religion just for the friends and the community. I don't know if I should try to go back to school and try to become a lawyer which has always been a dream of mine. I am 29 with a HS diploma and nothing else. My business is successful enough for a comfortable life.

This is definitely the kinds of issues a therapist can help you with.

What you definitely don't need is a therapist that will try to convince you to return to religion.

I am scared still that I am wrong about not believing in my religion anymore.

When you were religious, how much time did you spend being scared about not believing in all the other religions you weren't indoctrinated into?

Does anyone recommend a good tool for finding a therapist? Anybody know of specific treatments that they recommend for me? Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Here's the best recommendation I can think of. The Recovering From Religion Foundation.

They have something called "The Secular Therapist Project".

You can go on their site and register anonymously, and search for a therapist in your area.

The Secular Therapist Project

[ScienceAf]

Look, I don't wanna talk about myself on this thread, I said sorry, I was wrong.
Now forget about me.
Please.

[RozKek]

I didn't think it away for a while.
For a very long time.

If you could think it away your "depression" was caused by negative thoughts and probably hormones. You wouldn't be able to think it away if the depression was caused by chemical imbalances. 

But let's end it here.

[Won2blv]

I appreciate all the positive thoughts. I honestly don't think it can work with my wife. She told me that she can't respect someone that doesn't believe in god. And we don't have kids. It would be too much pain to try and stay together and live a secular life.

I don't have depression. I just feel like my mind is backlogged. I constantly go on omegle and talk to people for their advice but what I really need is a professional. I know I definitely don't need meds because I want help sorting through my thoughts for the near future. I am not depressed or anxious in general.

And for what its worth. I 100% think that if meds could be avoided for someone, they should be but its like diabetes, sometimes you just need to change your diet and exercise and sometimes you have to start some kind of meds. They should never be stigmatized but people should understand that side effects are legitimate and can be harmful. But people definitely should start some kind of medication if they have chemical balance issue. Scienceaf shouldn't have made such an overreaching comment but clearly he understands the ignorance of his initial comment.

[The Grand Nudger]

Oh shit...she's a true believer™ eh?  Well....sucks to be you, I guess. You're not going to be able to fix that. You don't need a therapist, you need a lawyer.

[Won2blv]

Oh shit...she's a true believer™ eh?  Well....sucks to be you, I guess.  You're not going to be able to fix that.  You don't need a therapist, you need a lawyer.

She is a very good person regardless. I know that we could have an amicable divorce. Mostly because I am willing to support her financially for a sufficient period of time. We separated about a year ago because I told her I was done being married and she didn't want anything from me. I know it sounds like I'm naive but I do mean it when I say that she is a very decent person

[The Grand Nudger]

Oh  I'm sure she's a decent person (most folks are)...she just couldn't respect the man she married because it turned out he didn't believe in fairies. That's pretty much the definition of an irreconcilable difference.