Who killed JFK?

[Fake Messiah]

I made a little list of all the people and organizations of people that I have heard have simultaneously collaborated to kill JFK, mostly from Oliver Stone and alike, because I know that you'll appreciate it

CIA, FBI, secret service, for starters. Then there was Richard Nixon, Lyndon Johnson, and Babushka Lady, as well as the umbrella man.

Then there were some people on the grassy knoll among which Woody Harrelson's dad was one.

And also the Mafia, US Army generals (who were angry at JFK for not starting WW3 and some other reasons), weapons manufacturers for the war in Vietnam. Gay mafia. Business heavyweights from Texas.

I'm sure I left out a few.

Apparently everyone killed JFK except Lee Harvey Oswald.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I made a little list of all the people and organizations of people that I have heard have simultaneously collaborated to kill JFK, mostly from Oliver Stone and alike, because I know that you'll appreciate it

CIA, FBI, secret service, for starters. Then there was Richard Nixon, Lyndon Johnson, and Babushka Lady, as well as the umbrella man.

Then there were some people on the grassy knoll among which Woody Harrelson's dad was one.

And also the Mafia, US Army generals (who were angry at JFK for not starting WW3 and some other reasons), weapons manufacturers for the war in Vietnam. Gay mafia. Business heavyweights from Texas.

I'm sure I left out a few.

Apparently everyone killed JFK except Lee Harvey Oswald.

Gerald Ford killed JFK. He got himself appointed to the Warren Commission to direct attention away from himself. He also had a secret deal with Nixon that he’d get to be VP someday.

Boru

[Foxaèr]

I did it, sixteen years before I was born.

[Rev. Rye]

I remember listening to Last Podcast on the Left's series on the JFK assassination, and while they spent quite a bit of time nitpicking and/or laughing over many of the more famous conspiracy theories, they pointed out that there was one theory that not only wasn't stupid, but actually made as much sense as, if not more than, the official story: yes, Lee Harvey Oswald shot at JFK from that sixth-story window. But that wasn't what killed him. After the first shot was fired, Secret Service agent George Warren Hickey Jr., sitting in a car right behind the Presidential Limo turns his head and pinpoints where the shot came from. He turned his head and pulled out his AR-15. He releases the safety on his rifle, and starts to stand up on the car seat and aim at him. This is attested to by an AP photo:

Then, the second bullet is fired. It critically wounds JFK and Gov. Connally. But then, the Presidential limo and the car behind it start to speed up. Now, remember that, by this point, Hickey is standing up on the seat of a convertible that's speeding up with an AR-15 ready to be fired. He falls back, it pulls the trigger, and it's aimed at the perfect place for the third shot, the one that finally kills JFK. So, JFK was killed by the Secret Service, and not because they wanted him dead as part of some conspiracy by powerful people or coup, but by a freak accident. And, unlike many of the other conspiracy theories, there probably wouldn't need to be that many people covering up this embarrassment. So, naturally, it took about half a century to get much exposure, because it's not a sleek, sexy Protocols of Whatever conspiracy theory, it's just one of those things. And the death of the most consistently popular president in living memory is not something people want to think of as just one of those things.

[brewer]

[Duty]

...Babushka Lady

Kate Bush assassinated JFK?!?!?