(August 11, 2015 at 6:50 pm)vixene Wrote:

(August 11, 2015 at 2:35 pm)Minimalist Wrote: See if you can work this deal.

This is a lot more effective than it looks [emoji55]

Reminds me of a very old joke, medium funny.

A severely obese bloke visits a weight loss centre and is told the following:

'Well sir, we have two plans. The first costs £300 per month, and we guarantee you to lose 5lbs per week, or we refund your money. The second plan is £2500 per month, but we guarantee that you'll lose 20lbs per week, or we'll refund triple your money.'

The man says he'll try the lower-cost plan first. He pays his money, and is led into a small room where he is told to remove his clothing and the instructor will be in shortly. Will little delay, the door opens and in walks a stunningly beautiful woman wearing nothing but a pair of trainers and a sign round her neck reading, 'If You Catch Me, You Fuck Me.'

After a week of running himself ragged trying to catch the woman (without success), the man discovers that he's lost 7lbs. He thinks to himself that if this is the cheap plan, the expensive one must be insanely wild. He informs the centre that he's ready to try the second plan.

Once again, he hands over the money, is led into the same room, and is told to remove his clothes. Quivering with excitement, he does so. Very shortly, the door opens to reveal a warthog boar wearing a sign that says, 'If I Catch You, I Fuck You.'

Boru

As for my take on the difficulty in stopping the ciggies, I think my experience with booze and drugs is illustrative.  I was going to die, and it was going to happen pretty damn fast and it was just barely enough to trigger my hitting and accepting I had hit bottom and then finding the cajones to make some changes.

With ciggies, that hitting bottom shit doesn't occur till your doctor whips out your fucking x-ray that you've been putting fucking off for weeks because you already fucking know what the fuck it's going to show and that fucking bastard doctor informs you you are going to fucking die and it isn't going to be very fucking long now and it is going to fucking hurt like hell and it's because you fucking did not quit the goddamn fucking cigarettes 25 fucking years ago , you stupid fucking twit.

(August 11, 2015 at 7:06 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:

(August 11, 2015 at 6:50 pm)vixene Wrote: This is a lot more effective than it looks [emoji55]

Reminds me of a very old joke, medium funny.

A severely obese bloke visits a weight loss centre and is told the following:

'Well sir, we have two plans. The first costs £300 per month, and we guarantee you to lose 5lbs per week, or we refund your money. The second plan is £2500 per month, but we guarantee that you'll lose 20lbs per week, or we'll refund triple your money.'

The man says he'll try the lower-cost plan first. He pays his money, and is led into a small room where he is told to remove his clothing and the instructor will be in shortly. Will little delay, the door opens and in walks a stunningly beautiful woman wearing nothing but a pair of trainers and a sign round her neck reading, 'If You Catch Me, You Fuck Me.'

After a week of running himself ragged trying to catch the woman (without success), the man discovers that he's lost 7lbs. He thinks to himself that if this is the cheap plan, the expensive one must be insanely wild. He informs the centre that he's ready to try the second plan.

Once again, he hands over the money, is led into the same room, and is told to remove his clothes. Quivering with excitement, he does so. Very shortly, the door opens to reveal a warthog boar wearing a sign that says, 'If I Catch You, I Fuck You.'

Boru

That's actually fucking hilarious [emoji23]

(August 11, 2015 at 7:34 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: As for my take on the difficulty in stopping the ciggies, I think my experience with booze and drugs is illustrative.  I was going to die, and it was going to happen pretty damn fast and it was just barely enough to trigger my hitting and accepting I had hit bottom and then finding the cajones to make some changes.

With ciggies, that hitting bottom shit doesn't occur till your doctor whips out your fucking x-ray that you've been putting fucking off for weeks because you already fucking know what the fuck it's going to show and that fucking bastard doctor informs you you are going to fucking die and it isn't going to be very fucking long now and it is going to fucking hurt like hell and it's because you fucking did not quit the goddamn fucking cigarettes 25 fucking years ago , you stupid fucking twit.

Well... Yeah. It's not quite that bad, but the writing is on the wall. Every time I've had a chest X-ray or CT scan done, I've expected that time to be *the* time I get the bad news. Not that there hasn't been bad news before, there has - in spades - but just nothing brought to you by the letter C.

For it to work even somewhat reliably however, it has to be THAT FUCKING BAD.

(August 11, 2015 at 8:06 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: For it to work even somewhat reliably however, it has to be THAT FUCKING BAD.

You have a point. By all rights, nearly dying from pneumonia should have been enough, but it wasn't.

(August 11, 2015 at 8:12 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote:

(August 11, 2015 at 8:06 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: For it to work even somewhat reliably however, it has to be THAT FUCKING BAD.

You have a point.  By all rights, nearly dying from pneumonia should have been enough, but it wasn't.

Well, if your current efforts fail, just remember, actually dying will end your smoking.

(August 11, 2015 at 8:25 pm)Pyrrho Wrote:

(August 11, 2015 at 8:12 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: You have a point.  By all rights, nearly dying from pneumonia should have been enough, but it wasn't.

Well, if your current efforts fail, just remember, actually dying will end your smoking.

Without any doubt, yes.

(August 11, 2015 at 8:25 pm)Pyrrho Wrote: Well, if your current efforts fail, just remember, actually dying will end your smoking.

Well, not that this is the rule, but the former German chancellor Helmut Schmidt (1974-1982) is pushing 97 and has been a chain smoker for all his life.

(August 11, 2015 at 1:03 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: ...smoking two days ago.

Grieve for those near me.

Good luck and I will grieve for those near you had a friend that did stop but he was ahhh not nice to be around for a while.