(August 30, 2015 at 11:16 pm)Beccs Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:14 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Hi Beccs 

That makes sense. So vocally, too? Interesting.

I'm thinking about this tonight, because my friends and I were chatting about it over the weekend, as to how each of us kind of deals with this type of thing a bit differently.

How ya been, doll?

It's been a while.  Life treating you well?

I'm doing well yes   


I've missed you. Earlier in the year my grandmother died, and that messed me up. She was such an amazing person. Miss her everyday, but at least I can cope now. lol

(August 30, 2015 at 11:17 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: I feel like I'm rewarding bad behavior if I just treat people kindly, despite their mistreatment of me. Is that your mindset?

Yes.

I'll admit to keeping people on the 'vex' list for lengthy periods of time. A high school instructor I despise has been on the list since 1973. I considered him a waste of air then, and nothing I've heard since has indicated to me my assessment of the little shithead is in any way incorrect.

Significantly (???) however, of 40 people I knew who died of AIDS, I only considered one an enemy.

(August 30, 2015 at 11:19 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I'll admit to keeping people on the 'vex' list for lengthy periods of time.  A high school instructor I despise has been on the list since 1973.  I considered him a waste of air then, and nothing I've heard since has indicated to me my assessment of the little shithead is in any way incorrect.

Significantly (???) however, of 40 people I knew who died of AIDS, I only considered one an enemy.

hahaha since 1973. 

There is something to be said about distancing ourselves from abusive types, because then and only then, can we heal. I have made the mistake of allowing some people back into my life from their fake apologies for example, only to kick myself for doing so later on. 

I wish we didn't have to have enemies. 

Curiously, when I worked at the defense contractor, I was popular. My best guess is I had an appealing combination of competency and humor.

As for getting along with people there, hate to drag out a stereotype, but the various feuds between the women there were what everyone noticed, friction between any of the men didn't seem to draw much attention by comparison.

Having said that, I clearly annoyed some customers, particularly Air Force brass. Never bothered me one whit I have an incompatible world view with them.

(August 30, 2015 at 11:19 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:16 pm)Beccs Wrote: How ya been, doll?

It's been a while.  Life treating you well?

I'm doing well yes   


I've missed you. Earlier in the year my grandmother died, and that messed me up. She was such an amazing person. Miss her everyday, but at least I can cope now. lol

My sincerest condolences.

Big hugs your way.

Interesting.

As a gay man, I find myself getting along better with women than with straight men.

Edit:
Or did you mean feuds between the women themselves and not between you and them?

Feuds amongst the women. My boss (a competent but wound a little too tight female) wrote a (specious) conduct report on a woman who didn't even report to her. We talked about that incident for weeks, it was one incident in a very long running and vicious war.

There were some women there that got along very well with others of both sexes (the department secretary, for one, and a gigantic Lesbian that everyone at least pretended to like lest she crush their head like a grape).

(August 30, 2015 at 11:36 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Curiously, when I worked at the defense contractor, I was popular.  My best guess is I had an appealing combination of competency and humor.

As for getting along with people there, hate to drag out a stereotype, but the various feuds between the women there were what everyone noticed, friction between any of the men didn't seem to draw much attention by comparison.

Having said that, I clearly annoyed some customers, particularly Air Force brass.  Never bothered me one whit I have an incompatible world view with them.

Interesting. I work with mainly men, which from a female perspective, they too can be difficult, but in a different way than when women have friction. Men tend to be angry and get over it, while women seem to fester their grudges. lol I've never been that way, but, I'm also not good at resolving conflict, so walking away is always my preferred method. Not always the best method, though.

@ Beccs, thank you.   It hasn't been an easy year, but I'm doing much better. Death can teach the living ...a lot.

(August 30, 2015 at 11:50 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:36 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Curiously, when I worked at the defense contractor, I was popular.  My best guess is I had an appealing combination of competency and humor.

As for getting along with people there, hate to drag out a stereotype, but the various feuds between the women there were what everyone noticed, friction between any of the men didn't seem to draw much attention by comparison.

Having said that, I clearly annoyed some customers, particularly Air Force brass.  Never bothered me one whit I have an incompatible world view with them.

Interesting. I work with mainly men, which from a female perspective, they too can be difficult, but in a different way than when women have friction. Men tend to be angry and get over it, while women seem to fester their grudges. lol I've never been that way, but, I'm also not good at resolving conflict, so walking away is always my preferred method. Not always the best method, though.

@ Beccs, thank you.   It hasn't been an easy year, but I'm doing much better. Death can teach the living ...a lot.

Yes it can.  It can certainly wake people up.