Do I want to know about felching? I have the feeling I probably don't.

As someone who has more or less had celibacy thrust upon them due to disability (I could really only be a passive (but happy) participant if a girl is willing to go cowgirl for me, but with how fragile my bones are, I'd likely get broken in half in a decidedly unfun way) porn helps save my sanity. Being a 35 year old virgin sucks.

So, I'm a bit of a connoisseur at this point.

American porn largely sucks now. Most of it is like eating at McDonald's. It's soulless, mass-produced, made cheaply, and no one - the performers or customers - really enjoy it. I think they're all filmed in the same handful of houses, too. Generic, blandly modern SoCal boxes. The women usually have had too much work done, and the guys are very obviously roid heads. The whole thing is just unappealing.

I have to admit that I need the porn I watch to have some kind of story, even if it's horribly cheesy (which is pretty much a given). I hate the scenes that start with the director talking to the girl on the couch like, "And who are we going to exploit today?" Total boner dethroner.

But, give me a scene about a nurse...?

But, yeah, European porn just seems higher quality. Better lighting, better filming (actual shot framing, better editing, etc.), far better looking performers. The Dutch seem to know where it's at. Same with Hungarians. Everyone involved seems determined to make a passable video and it shows.

LOL, WOW! Thanks for the wonderful episode of laughter this evening. Made my night.

(October 6, 2015 at 12:34 am)bambi_swag Wrote: I mean, come on, don't tell me you didn't feel guilty banging your girlfriend outside of wedlock? Or masturbating at some whore in a magazine?

Those things have never bothered me a bit.

(October 6, 2015 at 12:50 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: LOL, WOW! Thanks for the wonderful episode of laughter this evening. Made my night.

Yes this thread got completely derailed and as wrong as it may be it is effing hilarious.

(October 6, 2015 at 12:44 am)bambi_swag Wrote:

(October 6, 2015 at 12:38 am)Parkers Tan Wrote: What business is it of yours how others enjoy sex, then? Calling people evil because they enjoy things that you don't, or can't, seems pretty ugly to me.

Have you had sex yet?

I've had close encounters and rubby-snubby episodes with a little boy and my homo-buddy is all.

Care to clarify the rubby-snubby episode with a little boy?

"Sex with a spouse is fun and good. Porn is sin. And those who watch it are evil and perverted as goose shit."

Exactly how evil and perverted is goose shit do you suppose? I always thought it was rather...inanimate albeit a bit smelly.

"Threesome-sex is evil. Foursome-sex is evil too and so on. And those who do it are more perverted than your average porn watcher and they should have their dick soldered off."

What is the punishment for dickless offenders.

(October 6, 2015 at 1:04 am)Losty Wrote: "Sex with a spouse is fun and good. Porn is sin. And those who watch it are evil and perverted as goose shit."

Exactly how evil and perverted is goose shit do you suppose? I always thought it was rather...inanimate albeit a bit smelly.

Man, everyone knows that goose shit is the Hitler of shits.

Can Bambi please make another post?? The laughs are addicting. I need more...

(October 6, 2015 at 12:54 am)Thena323 Wrote:

(October 6, 2015 at 12:44 am)bambi_swag Wrote: I've had close encounters and rubby-snubby episodes with a little boy and my homo-buddy is all.

Care to clarify the rubby-snubby episode with a little boy?

Explain that shit soon, or else it's getting reported.