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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Why not Dodekatheism?

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Why not Dodekatheism?
Losty Offline
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#1
Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm
Why not Dodekatheism? Why haven't you accepted dodekatheism as the one true faith with the many true gods?

Aether keeps the lights on for you.

Ananke gives you that OCD

Aphrodite has a lovely smile and she loves you. She encourages love and pleasure.

Apollo promotes music, arts, knowledge, healing, plague, prophecy, poetry, manly beauty, archery, and the sun.

Ares is a god of war. He will help you kick serious ass. All this in the buff.

Artemis this chick knows how to hunt, how to get young girls, give people the plague, and she controls the moon. She's pretty damn cool.

Athena will be your personal diplomat. Plus she has those pretty grey eyes.

Chaos well nothing would exist without that dude.

Chronos is your holy pocket watch.

Demeter well she'll keep your weed growin Wink

Dionysus keeps your liquor cup full, feel free to label him your beer bitch, he won't mind really.

Erebus he's like the god of Halloween or some shit Tongue

Eros will tell you what to say to get laid.

Hades/Pluto is all about regrets, and who doesn't have those right?

Hephaestus he's got your crafts covered and is especially good at welding.

Hera will help you get a wife/husband and some babies.

Hermes is super helpful, he knows all about boundaries, travel, communication, trade, language, and writing.

Hestia well she's a young pretty virgin what more can I say.

Hypnos is the holy sandman.

Poseidon keeps your surf waves high.

Tartarus well that guy is scary as fuck but he's pretty cool still.

Zeus has that lightning thingy what's cooler than that?

These aren't even all. Do you need something? There's a god for that.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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The Valkyrie Online
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#2
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue
Dying to live, living to die.
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Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
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#3
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:02 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Well I learned a lot in the last few hours. I couldn't learn all the gods because it takes too long, but I'm converting anyways. Best religion ever.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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Cyberman Away
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#4
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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MTL Offline
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#5
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm (This post was last modified: October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm by MTL.)
(October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm)Losty Wrote:



These aren't even all. Do you need something? There's a god for that.

 Yes, but is there an App for that?
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Jenny A Offline
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#6
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm)Stimbo Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:00 pm)Beccs Wrote: Losty's been coming up with this one all night!

Tongue

Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.

Losty would like that. Big Grin
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god.  If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
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#7
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm (This post was last modified: October 21, 2015 at 3:15 pm by Losty.)
(October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm)MTL Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 2:59 pm)Losty Wrote:

Do you need something? There's a god for that.

 Yes, but is there an App for that?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
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#8
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:15 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Jenny A Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:09 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Interestingly, you can remove about the middle half of that sentence and it would still apply beautifully.

Losty would like that. Big Grin

As if it wasn't already the case Shy
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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MTL Offline
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#9
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Losty Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:11 pm)MTL Wrote:  Yes, but is there an App for that?

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8

smartiepants.
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Losty Offline
LastPoet’s jerkoff #4
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#10
RE: Why not Dodekatheism?
October 21, 2015 at 3:21 pm
(October 21, 2015 at 3:16 pm)MTL Wrote:
(October 21, 2015 at 3:14 pm)Losty Wrote: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/greek-go...22562?mt=8

smartiepants.

Just making sure you have access to the Truth Angel
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

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Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Why not Dodekatheism?

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