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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 2:22 am
(June 15, 2017 at 8:17 pm)chimp3 Wrote: I wrote this joke decades ago. First some background. In health care settings we occasionally use a condom catheter to treat urinary incontinence in men. It attaches to the penis like a real condom only the condom is attached to drainage tubing and bag. It is not inserted into the bladder. External only. Another name for the condom catheter is the Texas catheter. So, the joke....
Why is the condom catheter called a Texas catheter?
Because no man wants to be told he only needs a Rhode Island catheter.
It took me a second but I getttttt it! Bet it goes over real well at work! My sisters a nurse, she and her friends have some prEtty interesting views about what's funny and/or interesting (horrifying). I've given up going to lunch with them! 
Well, I am disappoint. Everyone but the rodent and the chimp kept up the dickiness whilst I rested. Maybe this thread wiLL die. And I shall forever have the title of having a bigger dick than ALL of you! And.. ask Esquilax.. I don't have one. So....
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!
Quote:The sin is against an infinite being (God) unforgiven infinitely, therefore the punishment is infinite.
Dead wrong. The actions of a finite being measured against an infinite one are infinitesimal and therefore merit infinitesimal punishment.
Quote:Some people deserve hell.
I say again: No exceptions. Punishment should be equal to the crime, not in excess of it. As soon as the punishment is greater than the crime, the punisher is in the wrong.
![[Image: tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif]](https://66.media.tumblr.com/5fb74c6d16622fb3dbb358509c9aec03/tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif)
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 2:31 am
Damn, boys. How hard can it be? Cum Come on in here and stroke something up! Luckie be erecting her wiener winner trophy.
Making you look bad.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 3:11 am
I guess they don't have what it takes.
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/LhgyCt8tSkNLW/giphy.gif)
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!
Quote:The sin is against an infinite being (God) unforgiven infinitely, therefore the punishment is infinite.
Dead wrong. The actions of a finite being measured against an infinite one are infinitesimal and therefore merit infinitesimal punishment.
Quote:Some people deserve hell.
I say again: No exceptions. Punishment should be equal to the crime, not in excess of it. As soon as the punishment is greater than the crime, the punisher is in the wrong.
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 4:21 am
BIG FLOPPY DICKS!!!!!!!
Sum ergo sum
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 4:35 am
(This post was last modified: June 16, 2017 at 4:38 am by ignoramus.)
I've got a big hard drive? 
Girls, it's not gonna work because we've got nothing to work with. We need more bewbies!!!
Guys, when do we want them?
(In a couple of hours as soon as the footy finishes, we promise!)
This time we mean it! (is atheist but does the cross on his chest to show how serious)
(Holy shite, did you see that goal!)
Bob, 'nother beer?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 4:42 am
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 5:20 am
The Icelandic Phallological Museum:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_...cal_Museum
There is a documentary about the museums race to obtain a human penis for it's collection. One man wants to donate his penis , testicles , and fur patch while he is still alive. In the end size still matters. The documentary is called "The Final Member":
http://gawker.com/this-man-wants-his-pen...1563806397
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 5:37 am
(This post was last modified: June 16, 2017 at 5:40 am by Mr.Obvious.)
If you're ever in Rotterdam, be sure to check out this guy and post your pic with him in this thread.
It's supposed to be Santa Claus holding a christmass tree.
However in Holland and Flanders, he's better known as 'Kabouter Buttplug', which translates into 'Gnome Buttplug'.
Personally, I figure he's overcompensating.
![[Image: 800px-Rotterdam_kunstwerk_Santa_Claus.jpg]](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6a/Rotterdam_kunstwerk_Santa_Claus.jpg/800px-Rotterdam_kunstwerk_Santa_Claus.jpg)
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
![[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/41/be/ba/41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg) -
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 5:47 am
(This post was last modified: June 16, 2017 at 5:50 am by Joods.)
Wait....
Can other body parts get in on this too?
I find this thread absolutely titillating.
(June 16, 2017 at 5:20 am)chimp3 Wrote: The Icelandic Phallological Museum:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_...cal_Museum
There is a documentary about the museums race to obtain a human penis for it's collection. One man wants to donate his penis , testicles , and fur patch while he is still alive. In the end size still matters. The documentary is called "The Final Member":
Ha ha... I love their mission statement:
Quote:According to its mission statement, the museum aims to enable "individuals to undertake serious study into the field of phallology in an organized, scientific fashion."[3]
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
(November 14, 2018 at 8:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Have a good day at work. If we ever meet in a professional setting, let me answer your question now. Yes, I DO want fries with that.
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RE: The Neverending SFW Penis Thread
June 16, 2017 at 6:03 am
Did you know ducks have a nine inch corkscrew shaped penis? They copulate without penetration. A nine inch dick and all he gets is a coital kiss!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
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