(May 26, 2018 at 11:01 pm)Edwardo Piet Wrote: Honesty indeed. That's why I said less bad.

It is an overboard descriptor but I didn't specify how much less bad he is. So it's technically correct.

But yeah, I just wanted to emphasize what an asshole he is and I couldn't think of another shitty and manipulative propagandist to compare him to.

Family is blood my arse. Haven't seen or spoken to my dad in years, and I'm perfectly fine with him passing without any kind of reunion.

I think my dad would have come good as he got older.
I think if he'd got to meet my daughter he would have at least been a good grandad.
And the time that I've spent being a dad makes me realise that's it's not easy and mistakes will be made.
And the older I get the more I realise how, as a young person with no experience of life, I amplified his misdeeds, having known no others.

Stress relief, thx guys. 

(May 26, 2018 at 11:05 pm)Kit Wrote:

(May 26, 2018 at 11:01 pm)Edwardo Piet Wrote: Honesty indeed. That's why I said less bad.

It is an overboard descriptor but I didn't specify how much less bad he is. So it's technically correct.

But yeah, I just wanted to emphasize what an asshole he is and I couldn't think of another shitty and manipulative propagandist to compare him to.

Family is blood my arse.  Haven't seen or spoken to my dad in years, and I'm perfectly fine with him passing without any kind of reunion.

I have good memories of him until he was 12 years old and even at his very worst I think his intentions were good. His own father drowned himself when he was very young... his dad was depressed and this was at a time when depressed people got thrown in asylums and treated like crap. My dad didn't want to be like him and this led to my dad becoming the opposite extreme and he refused to ever accept any help from anyone. My dad used to suffer psychosis and if only he had accepted the help he needed maybe he wouldn't have done some of the awful things he did.

I'm not excusing any of his behavior, just trying to make sense of it and make sense of how he used to be nice and how he changed. It was like he had a personality transplant. And last I heard he's still switching back and forth between nice guy and total asshole. And still not getting the help he needs.

When I compare him to awfulness I'm talking about the Hyde to his Jekyll. I'm talking purely about his behavior. As it's behavior that I think truly determines what is moral or immoral anyways.

I agree "Family is blood my arse". I agree 100%

Close bonds with people are about who you grow up wtih, not about D.N.A. I am extremely close to my brother Owen but if I was told tomorrow that he was adopted it literally wouldn't change a thing between us.

As for meeting my dad... he's too potentially dangerous to meet as I never know what side of him I'm going to get. But I have said that if he's one day on his death bed I would like to meet him. And I guess I wouldn't be against online contact as long as he never finds out where I live and never meets up with me.

He's also getting older and weaker, of course, he was born 1955.

I still love him. Just don't love the way he behaved. But then, I feel compassion for even the worst people. Of course my love for my dad is different. Not because he shares D.N.A. with him though. But because he was a good dad to me for many years, and I have many good memories with him, so I know he is capable of goodness, and can have a good heart, before he turned into a prick. I'm not a vengeful person. I didn't even ever forgive him because I never really resented him I've always just been disappointed and wish the things he did never happened. But then, my therapist does suspect I'm blocking a lot of bad memories out. I tend to not remember the bad stuff very vividly but I know they happened.

(May 26, 2018 at 9:44 pm)The Industrial Atheist Wrote: Okay one goal is to halfway understand when some of you guys get philosophical. I'm doing a little reading to facilitate that.

Oh, sweetie. These guys don't even understand what they're saying when they get philosophical. Keep up your reading, and you'll know it's all bullshit.

Awww, she knows us too well. <3

(May 23, 2018 at 7:39 pm)Kit Wrote: I currently have three.

20k posts
1k created threads
150 Reps

To vanquish my foes and laugh at the lamentation of their women.

(May 26, 2018 at 11:05 pm)Kit Wrote: Family is blood my arse. Haven't seen or spoken to my dad in years, and I'm perfectly fine with him passing without any kind of reunion.

I feel the same way about my egg donor. She's done some horrible things and aided my narcissistic ex in parentally alienating my children so there's that. She also helped my sister pay for the ex's attorney. When blood readily shits on blood like that, to me, it's an unforgivable offense so when they pass, it'll be just another day for me.

Here I was thinking that, 'Family is blood my arse' sounded a bit fucked up and creepy and then we get, 'when blood shits on blood'. :-)

(May 27, 2018 at 8:03 am)Shell B Wrote:

(May 26, 2018 at 9:44 pm)The Industrial Atheist Wrote: Okay one goal is to halfway understand when some of you guys get philosophical. I'm doing a little reading to facilitate that.

Oh, sweetie. These guys don't even understand what they're saying when they get philosophical. Keep up your reading, and you'll know it's all bullshit.

That's just code for the fact that you don't understand it, of course.