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Grant My Wish #2
RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote: I wish I had an ability to regenerate exactly like wolverines.

Granted, but every part you regenerate becomes that of a woman. And you've just been wounded below the belt. Also, Godschild, Fr0d0 and catfish are lubed up and ready for action. Because now you've got a vagina.

I wish I was the captain of the USS Enterprise.
You really believe in a man who has helped to save the world twice, with the power to change his physical appearance? An alien who travels though time and space--in a police box?!? [Image: TARDIS.gif]
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RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm)KnockEmOuttt Wrote:
(August 1, 2012 at 3:22 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote: I wish I had an ability to regenerate exactly like wolverines.

Granted, but every part you regenerate becomes that of a woman. And you've just been wounded below the belt. Also, Godschild, Fr0d0 and catfish are lubed up and ready for action. Because now you've got a vagina.

I wish I was the captain of the USS Enterprise.

Granted but Sulu, Spock and Mccoy are replaced with Godschild, fr0d0 and catfish.
Godschild, Fr0d0 and catfish are lubed up and ready for some zero-g action and illegal mischief with the transporters

I wish I knew parkour.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die." 
- Abdul Alhazred.
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RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote: I wish I knew parkour.

Granted, but in exchange for knowledge of parkour you lose your limbs.

I wish Christopher Hitchens would rise from the dead.
You really believe in a man who has helped to save the world twice, with the power to change his physical appearance? An alien who travels though time and space--in a police box?!? [Image: TARDIS.gif]
Reply
RE: Grant My Wish #2
Granted, ironically the next two thousand years of history is filled with violence and warfare, mostly pretense, centered around what disparate groups of people believe Christopher Hitchens meant by any given piece of text that is attributed to him. (He also smites you down for your insolence with his godly might).

I wish there was at least one smiley on my text options that was furiously dryhumping the air. So I didn't have to settle for Jerkoff
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 5:57 pm)Rhythm Wrote: I wish there was at least one smiley on my text options that was furiously dryhumping the air. So I didn't have to settle for Jerkoff

Granted, but the smiley is a transparent Gif and nobody can see it.

I wish RD would stop hitting on me.
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RE: Grant My Wish #2
Granted, I've updated your understanding of 21st century humour so you realise that I along with all the others who openly mock you are not hitting on you, we are laughing at you.
Hysterically.

I wish there was good stuff on tv.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die." 
- Abdul Alhazred.
Reply
RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 7:54 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote: Granted, I've updated your understanding of 21st century humour so you realise that I along with all the others who openly mock you are not hitting on you, we are laughing at you.
Hysterically.

I wish there was good stuff on tv.

Granted, but your TV is now a table.

I wish I was in outer space.
42

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RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 7:57 pm)aleialoura Wrote:
(August 1, 2012 at 7:54 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote: Granted, I've updated your understanding of 21st century humour so you realise that I along with all the others who openly mock you are not hitting on you, we are laughing at you.
Hysterically.

I wish there was good stuff on tv.

Granted, but your TV is now a table.

I wish I was in outer space.

Granted, you die horribly of from lack of oxygen and freezing temperatures.

I wish coca-cola was good for you but still had the awesome taste.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die." 
- Abdul Alhazred.
Reply
RE: Grant My Wish #2
(August 1, 2012 at 8:04 pm)RaphielDrake Wrote:
(August 1, 2012 at 7:57 pm)aleialoura Wrote: Granted, but your TV is now a table.

I wish I was in outer space.

Granted, you die horribly of from lack of oxygen and freezing temperatures.

I wish coca-cola was good for you but still had the awesome taste.

Granted, it now tastes like sperm to you.

I wish for 11 to equal 3.
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RE: Grant My Wish #2
Granted but the process means you have to divide by zero. Earth is now replaced by a blackhole, the stars now sing Barry White songs and Bill O'Reilly is actually quite a nice and intelligent guy.

I wish my screenplay for an x-rated power rangers had been accepted.
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die." 
- Abdul Alhazred.
Reply



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