(July 12, 2013 at 11:02 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: All hope is not lost yet. If it comes to it, we will let him go with dignity as per his wishes in his advance directive. I'm grateful that I don't have to make that decision - I have had to do it before and it was hell.

My mum's in a similar position. Sad times indeed. Has been over the course of her dementia. Not good to hear it all could have been prevented, and she had plenty of testing beforehand. Likewise she made a statement that she didn't want to be resuscitated from a vegetative state.

Shit. Seeing other people going through very ill/dying parents makes me glad I got that over with as a kid. In a weird way.

(July 13, 2013 at 5:19 am)fr0d0 Wrote:

(July 12, 2013 at 11:02 am)Cthulhu Dreaming. I still have some reas

5 Wrote: All hope is not lost yet. If it comes to it, we will let him go with dignity as per his wishes in his advance directive. I'm grateful that I don't have to make that decision - I have had to do it before and it was hell.

My mum's in a similar position. Sad times indeed. Has been over the course of her dementia. Not good to hear it all could have been prevented, and she had plenty of testing beforehand. Likewise she made a statement that she didn't want to be resuscitated from a vegetative state.

I am very sorry that you have to go through that, fr0d0. These are indeed sad times.


I still have reason for hope at least.

It's 3:00 a.m. and I'm trying unsuccessfully to sleep in Dad's hospital room in the recliner which was graciously provided by a staff nurse. Exhausted.

I can't decide on if I should go to the gym or go and cycle in blackpool, it's so hot I need to do something.

I already have blisters on my feet and aching muscles though because I refuse to waste even one day of precious and rare British hot summer days staying inside.

Had a wonderfull meal with a wonderfull woman at a wonderfull restaurant today.


Life is good.

Meh. I'm feeling ground down by the situation, and I'm feeling pretty helpless.

Dad's condition hasn't changed much. He won't eat much. The docs are considering a more aggressive treatment, which of course is not without risks.

The relationship I have with my father is...strained. We have never been close - he is an emotionally distant person. I feel that he never was there for me, and I have held much anger in my heart.

I'm making my peace with him.

(July 13, 2013 at 5:19 am)fr0d0 Wrote:

(July 12, 2013 at 11:02 am)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: All hope is not lost yet. If it comes to it, we will let him go with dignity as per his wishes in his advance directive. I'm grateful that I don't have to make that decision - I have had to do it before and it was hell.

My mum's in a similar position. Sad times indeed. Has been over the course of her dementia. Not good to hear it all could have been prevented, and she had plenty of testing beforehand. Likewise she made a statement that she didn't want to be resuscitated from a vegetative state.

My mother was diagnosed with ALS about eight years ago, and the disease progressed very quickly. She couldn't swallow or do anything much. Luckily (and it's very strange to use that word in this context), she passed relatively quickly, so she didn't suffer long. I know how you guys feel in these cases.

Stay strong, Cthulhu.

I feel like all my strength is gone.

You've been using that strength to be strong for two. You and him. Know it or not, believe it or not, you've chosen to fight a battle with him. Your actions mean more than you know. Both to him and for you. Keep your head up and recognize how strong you are. Rest if you need but when you wake up, wake up with the fire of intention, not the submission of defeat. The only thing that can defeat you is you.