Posts: 3101
Threads: 10
Joined: September 7, 2015
Reputation:
49
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 11:01 am
Our Losty has looks that could kill
I asked her to teach me her skill
She twisted my body
Did things that were naughty
To this day I walk funny still.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
Posts: 377
Threads: 8
Joined: September 17, 2015
Reputation:
6
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 11:17 am
How's this one? This is fun! Lol
Job had it good and was wealthy
Servants and children were healthy
But god killed them all
As he watched Job's fall
The wager with satan kept stealthy
Posts: 3101
Threads: 10
Joined: September 7, 2015
Reputation:
49
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 11:35 am
This is a great thread. Even Haikus!
Noah was building a boat
Convinced it surely would float
But too big for wood
The end wasn't good--
For Noah, a liferaft of goat.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
91
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 11:53 am
(This post was last modified: October 9, 2015 at 11:54 am by Alex K.)
Another Alex K original...
There once was a sailor from Trent
Who's cock was all crooked and bent.
He consulted a healer
who shortened his feeler,
And now regrets that he went.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
Posts: 2791
Threads: 107
Joined: July 4, 2015
Reputation:
35
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 12:16 pm
(This post was last modified: October 9, 2015 at 12:30 pm by drfuzzy.)
I heard there's a guy named Jack Chick
His gospel tracts make us all sick
Inane pseudoscience
Logic-defiant
But thousands of fans think he's slick.
He says dinosaurs were our first horse
And the Bible is the perfect source
For literal history
And ultra-woo mystery
He needs a science refresher course.
![[Image: 1d27cd1c1c713db6bef77271bc290149.jpg]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/1d/27/cd/1d27cd1c1c713db6bef77271bc290149.jpg)
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
Posts: 377
Threads: 8
Joined: September 17, 2015
Reputation:
6
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 12:25 pm
(This post was last modified: October 9, 2015 at 1:55 pm by mediocrates.)
Ok, one more for a while...
Once the world all spoke one tongue
Man thought building a tower is fun
When god saw the construction
He knew they'd cease to function
If he changed all their words into dung
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
91
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 2:05 pm
Sorry, I got only one topic today...
A little green man lived on Mars
Who was into chicks and fast cars.
He drove down to Venus
and showed round his peenus -
The night he then spent behind bars.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
Posts: 18510
Threads: 129
Joined: January 19, 2014
Reputation:
91
RE: limericks!
October 9, 2015 at 4:45 pm
(This post was last modified: October 9, 2015 at 4:48 pm by Alex K.)
Here's one for Vorlon
There lives a gay barber in Kerry
Who likes them big, brawny and hairy.
He first trims their beard
And then he gets weird...
I'll pass but your mileage may vary.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
![[Image: 697512590.gif?1428054947]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=liubavyshka.ru%2F_ph%2F15%2F2%2F697512590.gif%3F1428054947)
