Pre vs. Post Death

[henryp]

When I die, I don't want anyone to be sad at my funeral. I hope everyone goes straight to the bar, gets smashed and has the time of their fucking lives. Now that would be the best way to honour my memory.

This is close to the point.  When you die, you won't care if anyone is sad at funeral.  You'll be dead.  But while you're alive, you do care.

You care about something you know won't matter when it comes.  

There's something paradoxical about it, no?

[Minimalist]

Xtians have this problem constantly.

[dyresand]

Before conception 

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Life 

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death

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[Cyberman]

When I die, I don't want anyone to be sad at my funeral. I hope everyone goes straight to the bar, gets smashed and has the time of their fucking lives. Now that would be the best way to honour my memory.

If anyone is sad at my funeral, I'll never speak to them again.

[RozKek]

If it's not about them, does the reaction make sense?  I don't respond as strongly as others to tragedy, but in the past I think "Oh, that's a bummer."  Because people only get one life to live, and losing that opportunity seems like a substantial loss.  But it's only a loss from the perspective of the living, which the people I'm supposedly mourning are not. 

To me, it seems like the focus tends to be on those killed, rather than those affected by their deaths.  I wonder if it's just framed that way so we don't feel like we're being self-centered?

...too sum up better, in regards to Orlando for example, nobody was saying "I can't believe this happened to me!" as a response to others being killed.

Sure, it makes sense in the sense that it's just a way of coping.

[RozKek]

When I die, I don't want anyone to be sad at my funeral. I hope everyone goes straight to the bar, gets smashed and has the time of their fucking lives. Now that would be the best way to honour my memory.

This is close to the point.  When you die, you won't care if anyone is sad at funeral.  You'll be dead.  But while you're alive, you do care.

You care about something you know won't matter when it comes.  

There's something paradoxical about it, no?

Well I want them to have a good life whether I'm there or not. Of course it cannot sadden me when I'm dead, but while I'm alive, I very much value the well being of my loved ones, so I still want them to move on after my death even if I won't know about it at that point. It's not all about me.

[vorlon13]

Hell, I want to leave money aside for professional mourners, the hairy scary drag queen variety, and they will wail and moan outrageously for a while, then get into a big cat fight over who is doing it best.

This rural back water will be talking about it for decades.

[Cyberman]

I want to have someone rush into the church wearing the clothes I died in, brandishing a sonic screwdriver and going "ok guys, this is where it gets complicated..."

[henryp]

Well I want them to have a good life whether I'm there or not. Of course it cannot sadden me when I'm dead, but while I'm alive, I very much value the well being of my loved ones, so I still want them to move on after my death even if I won't know about it at that point. It's not all about me.

So up until a point in time, I care about everything after that point in time, until the point in time arrives, and I no longer care about anything after that point in time.

Ruminating on it, perhaps it's not really the future that we care about.  It's the idea of the future that we have in our mind, which exists at the moment.  And we just don't differentiate it with the actual future?

This is something that also seeps into my brain a lot.  That our interactions with things we view as external are primarily internal.  I don't love my grandma.  I love the idea of my grandma stored in my brain.  Now there is overlap, as much of that idea is based of data gathered from my senses interacting with my actual grandma.  But there is a go between that we don't really acknowledge that separates the reality in our minds from actual reality.  That's why we can still love grandma when she's dead.  Because we never really loved grandma, we loved the 'Grandma" data structure stored in our brains.  

Which makes sense.  Grandma dying doesn't stop us from loving grandma.  But our brains dying stop us from loving grandma.  Or, better yet, a hard blow to the head that damages the Grandma data in our head could make us stop loving grandma.

[T.J.]

They say the designation isn't as important as the journey. Same thing with death. Just replace 'importance' with 'agony' in this case. Dying is always worse than death itself. When we go to sleep our brain pretty much shuts down for the most part, except the part that allow dreams to surface. Either death is one long dream, or we just subtract by one.