Airplanes don't exist

[FlatAssembler]

Our culture makes us hold many irrational beliefs. One of them is demonstrably the belief that airplanes exist. It's told us by our parents, told by our teachers, and most of us never really investigate it. And there is not much evidence of that.
Most of the arguments we use to prove airplanes exist can be used to prove that dragons exist as well. We sometimes see white lines in the sky and we say they are evidence of jet airplanes. But saying they are the evidence of dragons is just as valid. There are people who say they have flown on an airplane, and use it as a proof that airplanes exist. But they could just as easily say it for dragons. And history tells us that before people claimed to have flown on a dragon just as often as people say today they have been on an airplane.
In reality, what we usually mean when we say airplane is so called jet airplane, and they can be disproven with some basic physics. Jet airplanes are supposed to work by having water (or some other liquid) as a fuel and engines forcing that water to go out, so that that water accelerates and, by the Newton's third law, makes the airplane accelerate also. But remember the Torricelli's law? Most of the people have learned it school, they just have never really thought about it. If they have, they would realize that it makes  the airplanes impossible.
One of the well-known formulations of the Torricelli's law is that, when a liquid goes through a small hole (an outlet), its speed is determined by the formula:

Code:

v=sqrt(2*g*h)

But there is a pretty obvious implication here. That is:

Code:

a=0

The Newton's second law tells us:

Code:

F=m*a

Therefore:

Code:

F=m*a=m*0=0

So, by the Newton's third law:

Code:

F1=-F2
0=-F2
F2=-0=0

So, the force acting on an airplane itself is zero, so by the Newton's first law:

Code:

F=0
 |
 V
a=0

So, how can jet airplanes work in reality if they don't even work on paper? You may give me some counter-example to the Torricelli's law. But do the counter-examples matter? They don't. The Torricelli's law is derived from the Bernoulli's equation, and it's derived right from the Newton's three axioms.
Also, the burden of proof is definitely on you. You can't prove for anything that doesn't exist that it doesn't exist, but, in general, if something exists, you are able to prove it. And Occam's razor always favors more an explanation that involves someone lying or hallucinating than an explanation that involves something as complicated and as crazy sounding as airplanes.
And you might ask me what if I am wrong. So what if I am wrong? At least I am thinking about whether airplanes exist, and other people aren't thinking about that at all, they just accept what most people believe as fact. And you are way more likely to be wrong if you aren't thinking than if you are thinking.
(This is my parody of the conspiracy theorists!)

[ignoramus]

It would be a lot funnier and sadder if you really believed it though.

You need to seel it better. Like that imbecile with his helicopters!~ Now that was entertaining for a good 15 minutes.

[Alex K]

WELL THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN CHEMTRAILS???////slash

[Jesster]

Oh. I guess I wasn't a crew chief who maintained and launched planes while I was in the Air Force. Thank you for correcting me. My memory gets a little weird sometimes. 

[Aroura]

But rock crushers exist, for sure. The BIG question is if you prefer horizontal or vertical rock crushers.

[Alex K]

But rock crushers exist, for sure. The BIG question is if you prefer horizontal or vertical rock crushers.

By the way - How are you doing in that place you supposedly went to in that lie machine? Right now, fetching some rolls for Saturday morning breakfast like a good German I hope?

[Joods]

It would be a  lot funnier and sadder if you really believed it though.

You need to seel it better. Like that imbecile with his helicopters!~ Now that was entertaining for a good 15 minutes.

OMG this just might be a sock of our helicopter guy!! 

Someone should look into that sort of thing.

[Aroura]

But rock crushers exist, for sure. The BIG question is if you prefer horizontal or vertical rock crushers.

By the way - How are you doing in that place you supposedly went to in that lie machine? Right now, fetching some rolls for Saturday morning breakfast like a good German I hope?

I'm afraid I fail as a good German so far, on that account.  I did make some nice fresh home fried potatoes with onions, and fresh coffee, though. That's probably more English than German.

We are planning on going out to lunch at a local place, then to the Dresden Zoo afterward, today.  I do love the bakeries here, though! Quarkkuchen is my favorite thing right now.  Enjoying all the various brotchen (can't make an umlaut easily on this little device, sorry!) when I can.  I have been picking one up on weekday mornings on my way to school, to eat on break.  Trying new ones each day.  Even if it's touristy, I can't help but love the Bretzel bread (LangenBretzel?).  Better than any I ever had in America!  

How did I get here?  Maybe we just imagined ourselves across the ocean!  lol

I've started a language integration course, so my free time is much less than it was.  I haven't had much time to post, here lately.  Went to the Semperoper last weekend, that was amazing!  Um.  Otherwise, doing great. :  

How's the baby, and the family?

(p.s. The beer really is better, too.  Paulaner hefeweizen (again, no S set on this device! boo) is my fav so far.  Any recommendations on brands or types to try?  I don't generally like Pilsners, too light and bitter.  I prefer medium, bready beers.  I honestly have never tried dark beer, but willing to give it a go.)

[Alex K]

By the way - How are you doing in that place you supposedly went to in that lie machine? Right now, fetching some rolls for Saturday morning breakfast like a good German I hope?

I'm afraid I fail as a good German so far, on that account.  I did make some nice fresh home fried potatoes with onions, and fresh coffee, though. That's probably more English than German.

We are planning on going out to lunch at a local place, then to the Dresden Zoo afterward, today.  I do love the bakeries here, though! Quarkkuchen is my favorite thing right now.  Enjoying all the various brotchen (can't make an umlaut easily on this little device, sorry!) when I can.  I have been picking one up on weekday mornings on my way to school, to eat on break.  Trying new ones each day.  Even if it's touristy, I can't help but love the Bretzel bread (LangenBretzel?).  Better than any I ever had in America!  

How did I get here?  Maybe we just imagined ourselves across the ocean!  lol

I've started a language integration course, so my free time is much less than it was.  I haven't had much time to post, here lately.  Went to the Semperoper last weekend, that was amazing!  Um.  Otherwise, doing great. :  

How's the baby, and the family?

(p.s. The beer really is better, too.  Paulaner hefeweizen (again, no S set on this device! boo) is my fav so far.  Any recommendations on brands or types to try?  I don't generally like Pilsners, too light and bitter.  I prefer medium, bready beers.  I honestly have never tried dark beer, but willing to give it a go.)

Great! And yes, that's very English and not very German

My wife loves Hefe and dislikes Pilsner for the same reason. Maybe try one of the various brands of Münchner Helles, it's like a good pilsner without the bitterness, that's the traditional one we usually have, my wife being Bavarian. Although, now that you're out of the US, have you tried the original Chech Budweiser?

Köstritzer is the local eastern german Schwarzbier. You should at least try it once, I like it from time to time

I recommend you try the German version of a reddish brownish Ale, "Alt', I like it a lot.

Laugenbrezel aren't touristy. We have them all the time, which again might be due to the fact that my wife is Bavarian, and I come from former Bavarian territories.

[FlatAssembler]

It would be a  lot funnier and sadder if you really believed it though.

You need to seel it better. Like that imbecile with his helicopters!~ Now that was entertaining for a good 15 minutes.

I've also posted this parody on a few other forums with conspiracy theories.