[Update 2] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)

[Somecoolguy]

Hey guys, I'm back. Thanks once again for all of the helpful replies, they've really helped me out.
But, I now would like your guys' advice on something I found out.


So, I had extra time today with nothing to do, so I was just thinking of something I could kill time with. I was just looking through the internet until it hit me. I should learn a little more about this girl before I do anything else. So I googled some of the places of where she said she was from. I then found a school which named all of the High School graduates and seen a name I thought was familiar: it was hers'. So I researched more until I found her middle name and plopped that in the search bar. I came across a facebook page to find her... and this other guy who looked way more grown up and had a full beard. Compared to this guy, I looked like I was born yesterday. I looked farther into the posts and confirmed it was her boyfriend. I didn't know whether to be excited, mad, or upset. The excitement would come from maybe being less nervous or complicated around her. So what I wanted to ask you guys is if I should still pursue her. More specifically if I should: quit, slow down, or keep on it.



Thank you guys once again, you've helped me quite a lot. I'll be eager to read your advice.

[The Industrial Atheist]

Every guy has to deal with this kind of stuff. It sucks, I know. Try not to stay down for too long. There are other girls out there.

[Athene]

There's a world full of gals out there, man. 

It'd be best to keep it moving, I think.

[brewer]

If you pursue her, do it as a friendship.

Sounds like she's older, maybe more experienced and you may learn some things socially. Could expand your horizons. 

And if shit falls into place right, she may introduce you to her female friends. (nudge nudge)

[Catholic_Lady]

It would be disrespectful to both her and her boyfriend to continue to try to pursue her. Also, she's not interested.

[Whateverist]

Hey guys, I'm back. Thanks once again for all of the helpful replies, they've really helped me out.
But, I now would like your guys' advice on something I found out.


So, I had extra time today with nothing to do, so I was just thinking of something I could kill time with. I was just looking through the internet until it hit me. I should learn a little more about this girl before I do anything else. So I googled some of the places of where she said she was from. I then found a school which named all of the High School graduates and seen a name I thought was familiar: it was hers'. So I researched more until I found her middle name and plopped that in the search bar. I came across a facebook page to find her... and this other guy who looked way more grown up and had a full beard. Compared to this guy, I looked like I was born yesterday. I looked farther into the posts and confirmed it was her boyfriend. I didn't know whether to be excited, mad, or upset. The excitement would come from maybe being less nervous or complicated around her. So what I wanted to ask you guys is if I should still pursue her. More specifically if I should: quit, slow down, or keep on it.



Thank you guys once again, you've helped me quite a lot. I'll be eager to read your advice.

Here is an idea.  Accept that she probably already has a relationship of the sort you're looking for.  Probably nothing more will come of it.  But, since you've already broken the ice, if any further interaction should come from her side, just enjoy the opportunity to interact with her without any of those should I/shouldn't I thoughts.  Just let them go.

"Pursuing it further" is now off the table.  To do more is to enter the realm of stalkerdom.  You don't want to be that guy.

[KevinM1]

If she's in a romantic relationship DO NOT try to pursue a romantic relationship with her. This isn't the movies where her boyfriend is some putz and she's desperately waiting to be rescued by someone like you.

Also, DO NOT tell her you, essentially, stalked her on the internet.

This is why I always recommend that one person interested in another should simply try to become friends first. Because there's a decent chance that cute person across the classroom may have a significant other, or something else that may be a total deal breaker when it comes to romance.

[Thumpalumpacus]

If she has a boyfriend, move on. Aside from the rudeness of trying to intrude upon an established relationship, on a practical level it can be harmful to your health.

Keep looking, and remember that a 90% failure rate (not always rejection -- failure in the sense that they have a boyfriend or other pursuit, etc) is probably going to be par for the course. Make your peace with that and be appreciative of every honest possibility you have for a good relationship.

And I'd advise against ever again looking someone up online for background info. Aside from the creeptastic feel that sort of thing has, you will never hone your people-sense that way. Just be open to what tomorrow holds, let go of the desire to control how things pan out, and when you hear "no thanks" keep those feet moving.

[Somecoolguy]

Thanks for the info guys, I'll be sure to not pursue her again. I'll look elsewhere.



I know what I did was very creepy and immature, next time, I'll try not to have my curiosity get the better of me.



You guys are right, rejection is very common, and so is the occupied. Though there are many women throughout the world.


Thanks again.

[ignoramus]

Still waiting for the live stream of the hidden cameras in her house. Don't leave us pervs hanging...