Autism Spectrum Disorder

[Edwardo Piet]

What signs did your mom say you had in childhood? And how come they never got help for you?

A ) It was the early 90s and I think there was slightly less awareness about it then. B ) My pre-school teachers must have been rather ignorant of it, and my mom knew nothing about it. C ) I am high functioning verbally which made it harder to spot. D ). By the time I got to 5 years old I was in primary school and I was only there for a year. The teachers also barely paid any attention to me then, and I was regularly bullied and they just let it happen. Then I was home educated by my parents from age 6 to 18, and as my parents knew nothing about it, that made it impossible for it to get diagnosed. E ) It's not unheard of for someone with high-functioning autism to not be diagnosed until adulthood. To quote from the article I already linked to you ():

Some people with ASD had features of the condition as a child, but enter adulthood without ever being diagnosed.

I'll take some random quotes from my autism report, that don't give away enough personal information to make me feel too uncomfortable or unsafe to share. I will make one change to it though... I'll change my real name to Hammy and my mom's real name to simply "mom". Some people on AF who I have bonded with know my real name, and some people on AF, like yourself, who have me on Facebook also know my real name, but I'd rather not let the whole forum know. Even my first name. Just to be safe

Okay here's some random quotes regarding my childhood, from my own autism report. This is information gathered from my mom's assessment with the multi-disciplinary team of autism specialists. I shall present it to you under this spoiler tag:

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"Hammy attended playgroup and then nursery before attending infant school until the age of 6, after which point he was home-schooled. Apparently, Hammy was being bullied at school and was struggling with writing, and was not receiving adequate support for either. In nursery, staff reported that Hammy was quiet and reluctant to interact with others. His father decided that they would home-school him. Mom supported Hammy to follow the coursework for GCSE level qualifications, however he was too anxious to attend the exams. All of his siblings were also home-schooled and achieved qualifications by sitting exams as internal candidates, since then some have attended college and university."

"Regarding early development, mom reported that she was not initially concerned with Hammy's development, but found it odd that Hammy did not understand the rules of games like 'pass the parcel' at parties. She described how he did not get things in the same way as other children and struggled to visualize things. Hammy was advanced in some ways and could walk by the time he was 8 months. Hammy spoke his first words at 11 months and was apparently fluent by the age of 2. Mom informed me that the health visitor observed that Hammy played with toys differently and organized them exactly. Additionally, Hammy has always lacked a sense of direction and may become lost easily. Hammy has a minor tremor in his hand which can affect his fine motor skills. This was diagnosed as genetic and reportedly nothing to worry about. Hammy also contracted chicken pox at a very young age (6 months)."

"Regarding nonverbal behaviors used to regulate social interaction, mom did not report difficulties with gaze but reported that Hammy had a limited range of facial expressions. Hammy would smile back at others but was initially suspicious in greeting. Mom stated how Hammy did not have friends throughout childhood, and despite her trying to encourage him to attend groups, he did not want to go. Mom also acknowledged that Hammy perhaps had less opportunity to interact with other children because he was home-schooled, although, occasionally Hammy would play with his brother and his friends. His play could be imaginative, but his mother explained how he would rely on others to take the lead. Often he would become frustrated and upset because he could not play the same way as other children."

"Hammy showed interest in other children, but did not approach them. Mom reported that if another child approached him, he was initially suspicious and would try to figure them out. Marked difficulties with sharing were reported and Hammy would only share if encouraged to do so, and would inspect his belongings afterwards to ensure no damage had been caused. Hammy did not show his parents things that interested him but would happily tell them about it. Hammy may have sought to share enjoyment with his father or brother but was quite focused on what he was doing. Mom described how birthdays were not a social occasion for Hammy and he didn't want to interact with people at all but was instead entirely focused on what he was getting. Hammy was somewhat aware of others' emotions and would ask what was wrong if they were sad, hurt hurt or ill, but not offer comfort. Mom reported that Hammy did not seek out interaction with others and so his social responses were very limited, especially with strangers."

"Mom reported no delay in acquiring spoken language, and no stereotyped, repetitive or idiosyncratic speech; however Hammy occasionally made inappropriate comments. In addition Hammy's speech can be "robotic" and somewhat monotone. Some difficulties were reported in using gesture to accompany spoken language and Hammy only pointed if something was immediately in his line of sight. Hammy would wave goodbye but his other gestures were limited and included nodding and shaking his head. Hammy apparently always struggled with small talk and prefers deep/intense conversation, though his mother said he has improved at this more recently. Regarding reciprocal conversation, mom reported that Hammy will talk at her and over her and that conversation can be quite one-sided. Mom is only able to have a to-and-fro conversation with Hammy if they are talking about TV programmes or "being silly".  Regarding social and imaginative play, mom did not recall any imitation of other's actions and no engagement in imaginative play, though she explained that Hammy would play in his own way by "bashing his toys together." She elaborated that he preferred to play with Lego and construct things although he would often want his mother to build things for him. Participation in social imitative games (e.g. Peekaboo) was limited to the home environment and often had to involve an object."

"Mom reported definite circumscribed interests that significantly impacted Hammy's social involvement and self-care. Hammy developed an interest in computers at the age of six and this has developed ever since."

"As a child mom described that Hammy always wanted more time on the computer and that it would be all he would talk about. As he grew older Hammy would often spend all night on the computer. Mom described how it would be his focus and topic of conversation even when they were engaging in another activity. Other interests included Poker, evolution and words (e.g. regarding the dictionary). Hammy also developed an attachment to the CD case for his favorite video game (Age of Empires) and would carry it with him wherever he went. Mom elaborated that Hammy always had to know where the game was and liked his possessions to be in perfect condition. Mom also reported some highly repetitive behavior and conveyed that Hammy liked to play the same games in the same way over and over and over again. In addition he liked to collect objects, including: Dinosaur toys, and Orbital CD's. His possessions also had to be ordered in a certain way and mom described how he cannot be disrupted when doing this as it will cause his significant distress."

"Mom reported that Hammy described repeating phrases like "relentless" over and over again in his head. Various routines and rituals were reported including some in early childhood. Hammy had to wash his hands before eating and would become distressed if the school would not allow him to do so. Now Hammy sometimes has to touch things (e.g. a tap in the kitchen) a certain amount of times. He prefers to see his family in a particular order and his mother said he books them in for "appointments". Mom reported that Hammy finds even minor changes to routine very difficult to manage. She explained that when Hammy was younger he had a set amount of time that he was allowed to use the family computer each day at 4pm and that he would become agitated if this could not be facilitated. She elaborated that this would cause some disruption on days like Christmas and birthdays when Hammy wanted to use the computer at this set time but could not."

"Regarding sensory interests Hammy can become particularly concerned with the texture of things and will only wear certain clothes."

"Regarding complex mannerisms, mom reported how Hammy would rock side to side on his stomach every night to get to sleep. Regarding other behaviors, mom reported that Hammy's gait is somewhat unusual as he walks very fast and bounces on his feet."

"The assessment yielded clear evidence that Hammy has marked difficulties with social communication and interaction, and displays restricted, repetitive interests and behaviors. These features appear to have been present since the early development period. The assessment highlighted that Hammy displays considerable difficulty with adaptive functioning, mainly due to his absorption in his interests and difficult with regulating his behavior."

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[Catholic_Lady]

Thanks for sharing that, ham. I read the whole thing.

[Whateverist]

Well, well, well. Now the wizard of id has given you a diploma you can go forth as brave as a lion, as loving as a tin man and thinkin' as good as Lincoln. When the gypsy offers you more strawberries you'll know you already have fields and fields of them. Let's celebrate with some music and dance.

[Edwardo Piet]

That's probably my favorite Beatles song actually.

Although I prefer the original for sure:

[Edwardo Piet]

Anyway, Hammy.  As far as I'm concerned you're fine.

Yes I'm fine. But my autism is very, very real. They fact I just say I'm fine because I just assume I'm fine by default but I don't know what it even means and I wouldn't know the difference between fine or not fine unless I was in immediate physical danger or afraid of upcoming physical danger... that in itself is one of the many examples of my autism in practice in itself.

Autism hasn't increased in diagnosis because the diagnosis has become so broad that they diagnose just about anybody nowadays. Autism has increased in diagnosis because as technology and expertise and education increases, autism becomes more and more easy to recognize.

About 1 in 100 people are autistic. That isn't exactly just about anybody. But in the past many many people would have been autistic, but it wasn't so easy to spot or be recognized. Especially higher functioning stuff. Otherwise intelligent people who nevertheless have many other symptoms of autism are much harder to spot. What was once considered badly behaved or lazy was often indeed badly behaved or lazy, but there have been many cases in the past where people were seen that way but their behavior and struggles could be explained more easily by their autism. It's the same with mental illness.... what we now recognize as depression would be someone who got told to cheer up and if they couldn't and they didn't get a job they'd get thrown in a mental asylum.

Diagnosis is only increasing because information and technology is, and the experts are getting better at recognizing a condition that was barely even understood in the past. It's just as legitimate as mental illness.

As for the Ritalin comment, you're thinking of ADHD.

And yes, once again. I am fine. I assume I'm fine because I'm not not fine as in I'm not in danger. And I get absorbed in what I'm doing and have fun. But many people wouldn't feel fine in my situation because they'd worry about the rest of their life being a total mess and not developing properly. At least now I know that I'm developing at the normal speed for someone with a developmental disorder.

I am fine, but you only see me posting on AF or have perhaps heard that I chat to people on Skype, make electronic music at home, etc. I basically spend my entire life in my bedroom, I never use my living room, I don't have a TV, I don't have carpets. I don't have a job. I've never had a job. I don't go anywhere besides shopping for food and then going home back to my bedroom. I have no desire for much else. I would be happy with a fully online cybersexual relationship and staying in my bedroom all my life. I'm going to get support to expand further anyways, because it's healthy, and because despite the fact I'll always want to spend 99% of my time in my bedroom.... if I can slowly develop a little bit of confidence and very slowly develop out of my comfort zone at my own pace... I would ideally one day prefer a real life sexual relationship and real life friends. They'd just have to be exactly the right people otherwise I'd disappear back to my bedroom again. And just, like, one or two arguments could make me panic and want to give up on RL again. And it's back to my bedroom because I had an argument with someone.

It would be easier if I forever remained living alone at least. I guess the ideal situation for me would be to meet up with friends and visit friends in RL (when I one day make some) and visit a girlfriend or fuckbuddy, but never let anyone visit me ever. Or even telephone call me when I hadn't pre-arranged it.

I will develop, slowly. At my own pace. If I want to. But there's no denying that my disorder and my autism is very very real.

In the past it would have just been considered "different" and it would have been wrong. Or so incorrect it's what's often deemed not even wrong. EVERYBODY is different. The point is in which ways are people different. Autism is a key difference in some people. And it isn't just a quirk.... yes it can have good points.... because autistic brains tend to be specialized, which is why you get many autistic savants or highly talented autistic people. But overall the disorder is a developmental disorder, that has to impact negatively on their life otherwise it wouldn't be diagnosed as a disorder. One of the key diagnostic requirements is that it has to impact negatively on a person's life.

It's as real as depression or an anxiety disorder.

I think if you were more educated about autism and what it actually is, and knew that it wasn't just a matter of being different or quirky, you'd realize that.

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Sometimes I wonder if we aren't doing more harm than good by categorizing people like this.  People used to simply be "different."  Was that such a bad thing?  The word wasn't even coined until 1911 and then only to refer to schizophrenics.  Now it has exploded to the point where the scale is so vast that it seems to be everywhere.  They pump kids full of ritalin or other drugs at the drop of a hat these days because they can't sit still in class and the schools hate that so they are willing co-conspirators with the drug industry because they want obedience.  I don't know.  It seems to me that someone is making a whole lot of money off of this.

I'm probably just being a cranky old fart, again. 

Anyway, Hammy.  As far as I'm concerned you're fine.

This has crossed my mind as well, but upon further research and watching my nephew, I've come to believe it really is a disorder in brain function rather than just a personality trait. I'd love to think you were right though.

People only get diagnosed with disorders if they affect someone's ability to function or cope in some way. That's why we have depression and anxiety disorders seen as mental illness, but we have no "Feeling alright" mental illness. Autism can have its good points, but if it didn't significantly impact someone's life negatively, it wouldn't be a problem and wouldn't need a diagnosis.

Even personality disorder diagnoses are of course not the same thing as personality tests. Autism is not a personality disorder, but even if it was, that's very different to a personality trait. Everyone has personality traits but not everyone has a personality disorder.

Seeing autism as nothing more than being "different" or a trait, and not at all a disorder, is rather dismissive of someone's condition. You wouldn't say someone with depression or anxiety was fine or just "different".

Now indeed, autism is not an illness, and there's nothing wrong with being autistic. But it is a disorder. It does cause people difficulties, or it would be an element of a personality test rather than a diagnosis.

I'm glad you have changed your mind. I wouldn't wish away autism though and I certainly am not glad it isn't merely a personality trait. Regardless of the fact that autism is a disorder that causes me problems.... I do like it's good points and I do embrace who I am. That isn't going to stop me struggling without help though. But yes. It does have its good points. Read this if you're interested on that more:

https://www.newstatesman.com/society/201...m-autistic

I am not against parents choosing the color of someone's eyes if they can, as that isn't important. Blue eyes are just as good as green and brown just as good as both. Etc. I'm not against parents not wanting their children to be born with a gene that gave their children great deal of pain as well. But if one day all parents chose for all their children to be born without any autistic genes? To be full neurotypicals? I would be against that for the reason argued for in the above article I just linked. The world is better off overall with at least some autism.

But no, that doesn't mean that the struggles of autism are not real. They are very real.

[Rev. Rye]

HammyThat's probably my favorite Beatles song actually.

Although I prefer the original for sure:




And now imagine what it would look like if they uploaded the whole damn thing and didn't keep people from trying to fill the void and upload it themselves.

And now, before it gets struck for copyright:





Listen now before the Michael Jackson estate copyright claims it into oblivion!

[J a c k]

Sometimes I wonder if we aren't doing more harm than good by categorizing people like this.  People used to simply be "different."  Was that such a bad thing?  The word wasn't even coined until 1911 and then only to refer to schizophrenics.  Now it has exploded to the point where the scale is so vast that it seems to be everywhere.  They pump kids full of ritalin or other drugs at the drop of a hat these days because they can't sit still in class and the schools hate that so they are willing co-conspirators with the drug industry because they want obedience.  I don't know.  It seems to me that someone is making a whole lot of money off of this.

I'm probably just being a cranky old fart, again. 

Anyway, Hammy.  As far as I'm concerned you're fine.

I’m sorry, but it certainly was a bad thing when kids were getting in trouble for not getting the right grades, or for freaking out in certain social settings, or for doing things the wrong way when they just couldn’t. If my son was placed in a regular classroom and his specific needs were ignored, he’d be miserable and his quality of life would be minimal. If I didn’t understand that I need to communicate differently with him, he would have never progressed as much as he has. He needed early childhood intervention and he needs extra attention and assistance. Just different isn’t enough and it’s unfair for them. Maybe someone is making a lot of money, so? So do doctors and we need them. My son had a dentist appointment today and I took him to his dad’s house afterwards. I had to come home and sleep for two hours, because it drained me. Try explaining to the dental assistant that he doesn’t understand if you use clever phrases like, “You’ll love it to death!” He cried thinking he was going to die. Try explaining that I prepared him for that visit for days and it was ruined by the assistant losing her patience and bringing in two more. A crowded room of strangers? Try explaining that he doesn’t understand so many instructions grouped together and you need to say one at a time and wait to make sure he understands before jumping to the next. Try watching your son being scolded because he won’t stay still when her hand is on his back and it’s freaking him out. He doesn’t understand you and you’re expecting him to cooperate? When people know there’s a condition and they’re informed, it can cause a dental appointment to go smoothly. Knowing is important. Just different isn’t enough. His dad says he’s back to not talking at his house. His silence can last a day, weeks, months. That dental assistant probably went home bitching about the annoying little kid who’s six, but acts like he’s three and his mom doesn't see that he just needs more discipline. Meanwhile, I'll be cleaning up the mess.

[GrandizerII]

Minimalist is of the older generation. Of course they would think like that. And what does Ritalin have to do with autism? lol, man. I like you, but damn ...

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So, how many does this make us? There’s me, Grandizer, Lutrinae, and you. Is that it for AF members (at least the currently active ones) on the Autism Spectrum or has someone else here come out on some other thread that I somehow managed to miss, alongside all the times Jack said she was a Mexican?

Is there anything else to say but “Welcome to the the club, Hammy”?

I wouldn't be surprised if the percentage of active members here on the spectrum was a bit higher than the percentage of the general population. Forums like this are like a magnet for us.

Oh, and as for Lutrinae, I was the one who suggested in the past he look into this and see if it plausibly matches his experience. Looks like he's seeking a diagnosis after all.

[Edwardo Piet]

ADHD is a very real condition too, but it's ADHD that gets prescribed Ritalin, not autism.

Minimalist, at least get the condition right before you give us your opinions lol. It almost makes you seem like you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about!

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I think now you will be able to feel better about yourself.

I feel better about myself already You're right. I don't feel like a loser or weirdo anymore.

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Listen now before the Michael Jackson estate copyright claims it into oblivion!

Heh. It may be my favorite Beetles song but I wouldn't really choose to listen to it. I'd just think it's alright if it came on the radio.

Here's what I'm choosing to listen to on loop all day today:

[Little lunch]

I've been trying to get on the spectrum for years but all they'd give me is depression.
One time I was upgraded to psychotic depression but it was only a limited time offer.
I was really hoping I could get a diagnosis that would absolve me of all the shitty ways I've acted towards friends and family, all the violence of my youth and the handful of minor crimes I've been convicted for.
(Interstate drug trafficking is a major crime but I had less than a pound so I still consider it minor.)
In the end I've had to realise I'm just not as great a person as I thought I was or wanted to be.
And since I've stepped up to the plate and owned my behaviours, I think I might actually be becoming a better person after all.
Anyway, that entire story was just about me, there's no hidden message in it for you autistic people out there.
Personally, I think autism wouldn't be so much of a problem if it wasn't for all the normals out there and their normal expectations.
Most of the normal people I've ever met are so fucking boring. :-)