Criticism

[Aroura]

I think that sometimes, people find that I am overly sensitive to criticism.  And it's completely true, I can't deny it.  But it wasn't always true. I used to be good at taking criticism in my job and even personal life.

I find online interactions particularly frustrating, because it's hard to read people, and it's easy to toss out casual criticism of almost everything, from what a person enjoys doing in their free time, to how they type, basically everything is up for grabs.  And there are so few filters.

If you have ever lived with someone who criticises you often, then you will understand how easy it is to become sensitive to it.  If a person is made to feel incompetent on a regular basis, they start to doubt themselves in every aspect of life, and even small amounts of criticism from others will cause them to withdraw socially. It's like having a sore that is never allowed to heal, or callous over.  It just gets poked bloody and raw every day.

I'm trying to get past it, but it is very difficult.  For a while, I tried detaching myself emotionally, but that also had severe repercussions.

I still feel the need to socialize, which is one reason I still come to AF. But I feel I am growing worse at human interactions.  My circle of RL friends has shrunk to 0, and I can hardly look at anything in the digital world without getting upset.  

I thought I was ready to come back and interact again.  But now I'm not sure.  Has anyone else dealt this this sort of thing?

[Brian37]

I think that sometimes, people find that I am overly sensitive to criticism.  And it's completely true, I can't deny it.  But it wasn't always true. I used to be good at taking criticism in my job and even personal life.

I find online interactions particularly frustrating, because it's hard to read people, and it's easy to toss out casual criticism of almost everything, from what a person enjoys doing in their free time, to how they type, basically everything is up for grabs.  And there are so few filters.

If you have ever lived with someone who criticises you often, then you will understand how easy it is to become sensitive to it.  If a person is made to feel incompetent on a regular basis, they start to doubt themselves in every aspect of life, and even small amounts of criticism from others will cause them to withdraw socially. It's like having a sore that is never allowed to heal, or callous over.  It just gets poked bloody and raw every day.

I'm trying to get past it, but it is very difficult.  For a while, I tried detaching myself emotionally, but that also had severe repercussions.

I still feel the need to socialize, which is one reason I still come to AF. But I feel I am growing worse at human interactions.  My circle of RL friends has shrunk to 0, and I can hardly look at anything in the digital world without getting upset.  

I thought I was ready to come back and interact again.  But now I'm not sure.  Has anyone else dealt this this sort of thing?

I am very sensitive. But the difference between  say you and me, and those with money regardless of position is that you and I dont have the same resources ,  be it in agreement or not.' If you are like me and are not a billionaire, to make the assumption that anyone objecting to questions of power does not benefit humanity.

Nobody should expect blind loyalty. But it is unreasonable regardless of position to expect blind loyalty. I don't expect my detractors to never say boo to me. I do expect them to prove why they think I am wrong.

[vulcanlogician]

Has anyone else dealt this this sort of thing?

I have. There are some pretty toxic people out there. The thing I've found that helps is to actually confront people who criticize you. Not in an aggressive way. But in a "stand your ground" sort of way. People who hurt other people's feelings to feel better about themselves often do so because they know the person will internalize it. If you make the process difficult for them, they are less apt to use you to vent their own frustrations.

I think Gandhi is a good exemplar for the posture one should adopt in confrontation. It's not about hurting the other person back, but nor is it about backing down.

[Minimalist]

No.  Never.

(Part of the solution is not giving a flying fuck what other people think.  Mot of them are probably assholes, anyway.)

[Seraphina]

I'm curious if the person who criticized you often is still around, hopefully not. Nobody deserves to live on eggshells and anxious about being criticized all the time.
Frankly, Aroura, you sound lonely and sad {{hug}}. Feeling like you're overly sensitive could just be a symptom of that.

When I'm down, the best way for me to deal with it is being present around other humans irl. I'll abandon my house and go somewhere - anywhere (for me it might be a park or an art museum) - and walk among other people who for all I know feel just as lonely as me.

Hope things improve for you Aroura & keep us posted on how you're doing. x

-Teresa

[Whateverist]

My older brother used to take his wife down all the time. Not just criticizing but ridiculing and insulting her. It was hard to watch. I don't care for her much more than I do him but why in the world marry someone or stay married to someone you have so little regard for. Horrible.

I hope you're no where near getting that kind of treatment any longer.

[The Valkyrie]

Send me a list and I’ll have them disappeared for you.

⚰️

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I feel bad for the people who criticize me.  Quite frankly, it's very sad that they have some sort of cognitive impairment that prevents them from realizing that a person of my magnifitude is - clearly and obviously - without a flaw of any kind.

Humbly Yours,

Boru

[vorlon13]

I'd like to think most of the locals here are aware that criticizing me is almost invariably a waste of time.


I have a REALLY thick hide (thanks mom) and I am usually right regardless.

[Whateverist]

Send me a list and I’ll have them disappeared for you.

⚰️

You gonna throw dog poop at them?  ⚰️