Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 27, 2024, 9:55 am

Thread Rating:
  • 3 Vote(s) - 4.33 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself.  He's a grown man.  Fishing's not that hard.'  - Ron Swanson

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
Ladies: If you find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you. If you don't find strange hair on his clothes, he's cheating on you with a bald chick.

-Brought to you by Beccs Insecure Female Fellowship.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:  'She must be sleeping.'

Woman texts her boyfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:

'He's cheating on me.'

'He hates me.'

'He's crashed his car.'

'He's been arrested.'

Brought to you by Bitches Be Crazy, LTD.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 1:53 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Man texts his girlfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:  'She must be sleeping.'

Woman texts her boyfriend and doesn't get a reply within 60 seconds:

'He's cheating on me.'

'He hates me.'

'He's crashed his car.'

'He's been arrested.'

Brought to you by Bitches Be Crazy, LTD.

Boru
I was five minutes late for a previous girl friend and she was balling her eyes out because she thought I had died. This was before mobile phones.(shut up)

Same girl told me I didn't love her anymore because I wanted to see the boys after seeing only her for a couple of months.

She was soon to be the Ex after that.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

"Hi, I'm going to the bathroom but my hands don't work. Can you help me?"

Not falling for THAT a fourth time!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 2:08 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I had a first and only date with a girl who followed me to the restroom to make sure I didn't chat up any other women along the way.  Not even sure how I'd do that. 'Hello, luv.  I'm going for a piss, but would you like to go out for a drink when I'm done?'

Boru

Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..

Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 2:51 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: Try it...

If it works, I ' ll nominate you for "Cocksman .Of the Year"..

Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
There' s always room on the mantle for one more award.......
Reply
RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
(March 28, 2019 at 3:38 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:
(March 28, 2019 at 3:00 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Thanks, but I already have that award.

Boru
There' s always room on the mantle for one more award.......

Oh, sure, I could make room on the 'I Love Me Shelf' for another, but I already have six.  Any more would just be gauche.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Just some random thoughts Sigiere 1 759 May 22, 2023 at 12:20 pm
Last Post: Mister Agenda
  Random tank chatter robvalue 21 3907 April 1, 2016 at 3:43 pm
Last Post: robvalue
  The "You really mustn't derail this thread" thread. Edwardo Piet 69 10314 January 19, 2016 at 1:14 pm
Last Post: brewer
  The "You really must derail this thread" thread. Marsellus Wallace 20 4842 January 19, 2016 at 7:15 am
Last Post: ignoramus
  Random revolutionary ideas HorribleOffensiveScouser91 3 2885 November 26, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Last Post: jonb
  WTF Photos (Humorous Edition) thesummerqueen 16 7502 October 26, 2012 at 10:00 am
Last Post: Faith No More



Users browsing this thread: 36 Guest(s)