Posts: 13901
Threads: 263
Joined: January 11, 2009
Reputation:
82
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 11:59 am
(August 1, 2013 at 10:46 am)FallentoReason Wrote: I've seen this girl around the place before and we have a lot of mutual friends, so I got talking with her over Facebook. I think she's seen my band play before, so she knew who I was, which made it really easy to chat.
We've been talking for a few days now and I think I'm falling for her. I also feel like she's playing hard to get, so it seems like there's some good chemistry that might lead to something. Except.. I asked her what 18+ shows she has been to because the only venues she kept talking about were the all ages ones.
It turns out she's 18 in 10 more weeks. I'm 23 at the start of next year... my heart pretty much sunk after realising just how much younger she is than me, which has been happening waay too often lately (where do girls my age hide?!).
What do you guys think of the classic 18 year old dating a 23 year old guy? Permissible or somewhat disturbing?
I was 22 when I met my wife she was 18.
5 years is nothing.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation:
150
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:00 pm
(August 1, 2013 at 11:29 am)LastPoet Wrote: You could both give eachother a mutual test-drive and go from there.
You know me, always the romantic 
Pretty much the way I see it too. Never buy a pig without a poke .. or something like that.
Seriously, five years is nothing. My wife is ten years older but before we got together 30 years ago I had also been with women that much younger than me. There are so many things that matter more than that. Older doesn't always mean more mature but it usually does. Like Festive said you need to find out if you click.
If that is where your compass is pointing you should follow. You aren't exploiting her if your interest is genuine. When/if either of you realize it isn't what you were looking for you can always break it off. There is so much you can learn about yourself in relationships, both the ones that last months and the ones that go for years.
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:04 pm
I don't think it's a big deal. It's not like you're forty-five and she's just turning fifteen.
Personally, I think physical age is less important than emotional and intellectual maturity. When I was your age, most of the girls I was around that were eighteen were ditzy bimbos with only superficial concerns.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Posts: 7175
Threads: 12
Joined: March 14, 2013
Reputation:
72
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:11 pm
(August 1, 2013 at 10:46 am)FallentoReason Wrote: It turns out she's 18 in 10 more weeks. I'm 23 at the start of next year...
Jeeeeeezus, dude... you're almost old enough to be her fa-- er, older brother!!!
Anyway, like the others said. The age difference is negligible and as long as you are both consenting, I don't see why there would be an issue. Go ye forth, with my blessing. *sprinkles tap water on your head*
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:14 pm
My wife is about 7 years younger than me. Age differences are only a problem if one is under 18, but once you're both adults then who cares? Only thing is that you will be the one buying the beer for a few years.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Posts: 12231
Threads: 324
Joined: April 14, 2011
Reputation:
140
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm
(August 1, 2013 at 12:14 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote: My wife is about 7 years younger than me. Age differences are only a problem if one is under 18, but once you're both adults then who cares? Only thing is that you will be the one buying the beer for a few years.
Admittedly it is a little creepy when the age gap is like 40+ years.
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation:
150
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:24 pm
(August 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm)Napoléon Wrote: (August 1, 2013 at 12:14 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote: My wife is about 7 years younger than me. Age differences are only a problem if one is under 18, but once you're both adults then who cares? Only thing is that you will be the one buying the beer for a few years.
Admittedly it is a little creepy when the age gap is like 40+ years.
What are you trying to say? Far from being yucky I have to imagine it would be firm and tight to hit that. (Less so for her of course but she could revel in my 'sophistication'.)
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
155
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:34 pm
What everyone else has said. I met my sweet Princess when she'd recently turned 22 and I was already 31, making us nine years apart. Nobody really batted an eyelid.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 6012
Threads: 253
Joined: January 2, 2013
Reputation:
30
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:37 pm
(August 1, 2013 at 10:46 am)FallentoReason Wrote: I've seen this girl around the place before and we have a lot of mutual friends, so I got talking with her over Facebook. I think she's seen my band play before, so she knew who I was, which made it really easy to chat.
We've been talking for a few days now and I think I'm falling for her. I also feel like she's playing hard to get, so it seems like there's some good chemistry that might lead to something. Except.. I asked her what 18+ shows she has been to because the only venues she kept talking about were the all ages ones.
It turns out she's 18 in 10 more weeks. I'm 23 at the start of next year... my heart pretty much sunk after realising just how much younger she is than me, which has been happening waay too often lately (where do girls my age hide?!).
What do you guys think of the classic 18 year old dating a 23 year old guy? Permissible or somewhat disturbing?
I think you just hit the barely legal jackpot, the only thing disturbing about it is how disturbingly good it is
Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.
Impersonation is treason.
Posts: 2171
Threads: 4
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
33
RE: Age and relationships
August 1, 2013 at 12:50 pm
From what I've seen in life, it is her that should worry about your maturity level!
(Full disclosure...my wife still thinks I'm infantile at 40. I obviously disagree with her, the poopy-head.)
Naw...go for it.
|
