God hates shrimp

[Diablo]

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

God Hates Shrimp

Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.


Facebook users: join the official God Hates Shrimp group, or the Christian League Against the Maine Shellfish and Lobster Industry's Total Sacrilege group to get lobsters out of Maine!
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[downbeatplumb]

I hate prawns, will that do?

[c172]

How about the shellfish allergic?

[JesusHChrist]

Y'all shrimp haters (including Yahweh, if Your Majesty is Listening In), can send the nasty beasties my way.

I'll take 'em off your hands, no questions asked.

[DramaQueen]

What does shrimps (edit: and other sea stuff) taste like?

[c172]

It tastes like an orgasm in the mouth! Especially a shrimp burrito. EAT ONE!

[DramaQueen]

I hate fish, and how does a burrito taste like?
How does an orgasm feel like?

[Minimalist]

How does an orgasm feel like?

It's better than shrimp....I can tell you that.

[vorlon13]

I love shrimp night at Hu Hot.

But, I realize, Scripture must be observed!!! Burn the buildings!! Eliminate tax deductions for those that factory farm shrimp!!

And my cat just asked if this means more shrimp for him.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

How does an orgasm feel like?

It's better than shrimp....I can tell you that.

Puts me in mind of a (very) old joke:

A rabbi and a priest are sharing a train car and fall into conversation about their respective faiths.

'Tell me honestly,' says the priest. 'In all your life, have you never, not even once, violated the rule against eating non-kosher foods?'

The rabbi has a bit of a think, and says, 'Well, to be perfectly frank with you, I have. I was a young rabbinical student, and could not, for the life of me, figure out why God was so strict regarding our diet. To test my faith, I suppose, I once ate a small slice of baked ham. I've regretting my failing ever since, and haven't repeated the offense.

'Now, my new Catholic friend', the rabbi continues, 'fair play - it is your turn to be honest with me. You priests are sworn to a life of celibacy. Naturally, you've been tempted - you wouldn't be human otherwise. But have you ever, since you took your holy vows, yielded to that temptation? I'll be even more blunt: Have you, since becoming a priest, had sex with a woman?'

The priest gives a long, shuddering sigh and answers, 'I have. Good to get it off my chest. I haven't even mentioned it in confession, but yes. Several years ago, I was counseling a woman in my congregation and we were both weak and we sinned.'

The rabbi smiles, leans forward, and says, 'Better than ham, isn't it?'

Boru