Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 14, 2024, 1:30 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Jesus Loves You
#1
Jesus Loves You
On an "T" intersection on a busy street in my city, a local Jesus freak has put up a white poster board with the phrase "Jesus Loves You" on it.

It's been nailed to a telephone pole and has been there now for a couple of months. Since the intersection is a "T", I get a good long time to see this silly sign multiple times per week.

The sign annoys both my gf and I and we were considering just removing it. But then, the devil entered our hearts and we thought it would be funny to add another sign, right below the first, to "complete" it.

Please contribute your own ideas. I might even use your phrase, post it and take a pic. The second phrase must be short - only a few words.

My gf and I were on a brainstorming roll and came up with the following:

Jesus loves you
Zeus loves you more

Jesus loves you
then never calls Sad

Jesus loves you
only $50 dollah!

Jesus loves you
long time solider boy! or just (long time!)

Jesus loves you
but will he respect you afterwards?

Jesus loves you
as long as you pay now!

Jesus loves you
Suckee! Suckee! $10 dollah!

Jesus loves you
He so Horny!

and so on...
Reply
#2
RE: Jesus Loves You
(September 11, 2014 at 4:47 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: On an "T" intersection on a busy street in my city, a local Jesus freak has put up a white poster board with the phrase "Jesus Loves You" on it.

It's been nailed to a telephone pole and has been there now for a couple of months. Since the intersection is a "T", I get a good long time to see this silly sign multiple times per week.

The sign annoys both my gf and I and we were considering just removing it. But then, the devil entered our hearts and we thought it would be funny to add another sign, right below the first, to "complete" it.

Please contribute your own ideas. I might even use your phrase, post it and take a pic. The second phrase must be short - only a few words.

My gf and I were on a brainstorming roll and came up with the following:

Jesus loves you
Zeus loves you more

Jesus loves you
then never calls Sad

Jesus loves you
only $50 dollah!

Jesus loves you
long time solider boy! or just (long time!)

Jesus loves you
but will he respect you afterwards?

Jesus loves you
as long as you pay now!

Jesus loves you
Suckee! Suckee! $10 dollah!

Jesus loves you
He so Horny!

and so on...

Jesus loves you
But God thinks you're a cunt

MM
"The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions" - Leonardo da Vinci

"I think I use the term “radical” rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one ... etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously." - Douglas Adams (and I echo the sentiment)
Reply
#3
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you
so do all the other Latin-Americans!
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J.R.R Tolkien
Reply
#4
RE: Jesus Loves You
(September 11, 2014 at 4:51 pm)Tobie Wrote: Jesus loves you
so do all the other Latin-Americans!

I was thinking something smilar.

Jesus loves you -
- and will mow your lawn for $10.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
#5
RE: Jesus Loves You
[Image: c0zsk.jpg]
Reply
#6
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you
Well, somebody has to...
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - J.R.R Tolkien
Reply
#7
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you -
- and will torture you forever if you don't love him back.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
#8
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you...

It's his followers who hate you
Reply
#9
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves your money.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
Reply
#10
RE: Jesus Loves You
Jesus loves you
But Christians are his favorites
Luke: You don't believe in the Force, do you?

Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. 'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Mayo, Twitterbrat Trump loves mayo... Brian37 5 753 December 24, 2016 at 12:50 pm
Last Post: Brian37
  Feminists loves Islam/No true scotsman Ronsy21 1 960 February 22, 2016 at 11:05 pm
Last Post: Living in Death



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)