Many English people can't speak English?

[Metis]

Language is an ever evolving thing, and as long as the involved parties understand each other, I don't think it matters much. What you feel to be the butchered version of english, is probably the current norm of the circle where the kids communicate most. From your perspective they are saying it wrong, but from theirs, you are doing it wrong.

But this is the thing, they are doing it wrong. The Oxford English dictionary is the definitive collection of English words, and while I do appreciate there is slang and new words that don't always make it there are some precepts such as basic grammar and spelling that are required.

"I caunt Undstand"

"The proper, way..."

I literally just went onto my Skype account and copied a few lines from a group chat. Certainly these people are not being assessed for anything but surely knowing where commas and capital letters go is something that wouldn't be out of place and constitutes the correct use of English? There is no "Undstand" in my copy of Oxford's dictionary, and yet one of my students felt no shame in sending this to me.

The fact everyone in ones social circle may be an illiterate does not make being one any better. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it is something that I think sorely needs improvement.

Another thing I really hate and I actually do call people out on is "Can I get...". No, you can't get that book, it's in my desk....Ooooh, you meant you wanted that book? Well why didn't you say can I have?

I'm aware that makes me sound like an arsehole, but I can't stand it. Wouldn't do it outside of work though.

[Aoi Magi]

arrgh damn graummer Natzis, sou ennoing

[Metis]

arrgh damn graummer Natzis, sou ennoing

[Pyrrho]

I can't get over how some Aussie films are subtitled for US viewing...
Are we really that hard to understand?

I remember reading that the film "Mad Max" was dubbed for the U.S.  On a DVD release in the U.S., there was a special feature with the original Australian.

I don't remember seeing any Australian films that had subtitles, just dubbed.

If you people spoke English, none of this would be necessary.

[Minimalist]

I agree with the premise of the OP.

Did I read that sign right?

 

 
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
HUH?

 
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
 
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS.
 
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

 
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

 
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.
 
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
 
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
 
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
 
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
 
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).

 

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter.
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
R eally?  Ya think?

 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
Now that's taking things a bit far!

 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
What a guy!

 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

 
J u venile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

 
War Dims Hope for Peace.
I can see where it might have that effect!

 
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
Ya think?!

 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Who would have thought!

 
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
They may be on to something!

 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

 
Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge.
He probably IS the battery charge!

 
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Weren't they fat enough?!

 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

 
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
Do they taste like chicken?

 
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
Boy, are they tall! 

 

 
And the winner is.....

 
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;  Hundreds Dead.
Did I read that right?

[Excited Penguin]

I learned english from watching Friends[I think I watched that Tv-Show 8-9 times]. My brother just switched the subs on me one day with english ones. I didn't understand shit at first, but not too long after that, I was earnestly reading Nabokov. I spoke to maybe  somewhere from ten to a hundred people in english, in my life. That estimate is mostly based on the time I lived in Vienna[one month]. I also find that I wrote prose in english far better than I ever did in romanian, at least this one time for sure, after I finished the Catcher in The Rye and decided to immitate Salinger. It's either a very easy language for me to learn or I love it a great deal. I don't know which one. I know I make a lot of mistakes but that's mostly out of laziness - seeing how I pick up on them even before writing but simply don't choose to express myself better.. At this point, I actually think I speak it far better than my maternal tongue - at least potentially. I even think I can nail American/English accents pretty well- if I really want to. But that's all subjective. I have no actual reason to believe this beside what others have told me.

Don't know if this little story fits in the thread or not, but yeah. Anyway, there's no point to that kind of stuff - bigotrism. We should all learn that no matter what we are all responsible for each others - even for the most dissapointing ones among us, for we are all human beings. Pretending we're instead these different people with different nationalities and what not is just downright silly.

[Faith No More]

Not to offend anyone personally but I really don't understand why if I can reach this standard in less than three years why the British and Americans can't in eighteen. Plenty of other Europeans manage to become fluent in two, often three east of Germany and these aren't always smart people; I've even met illiterates who can speak several languages perfectly.

I can't say I know what happens in them but the state ran English speaking education systems must be terrible.

Our education systems are pretty abysmal, but most of them aren't so bad that a person couldn't come without a basic grasp of the English language. I think our terrible grammar is more due to the deeply seeded anti-intellectualism in our culture, and using proper English tends to give many Americans the impression that you are a snooty intellectual.

[ignoramus]

I can't get over how some Aussie films are subtitled for US viewing...
Are we really that hard to understand?

I remember reading that the film "Mad Max" was dubbed for the U.S.  On a DVD release in the U.S., there was a special feature with the original Australian.

I don't remember seeing any Australian films that had subtitles, just dubbed.

If you people spoke English, none of this would be necessary.

OK, no need to act like a pork chop!

[Minimalist]

Not to offend anyone personally but I really don't understand why if I can reach this standard in less than three years why the British and Americans can't in eighteen. Plenty of other Europeans manage to become fluent in two, often three east of Germany and these aren't always smart people; I've even met illiterates who can speak several languages perfectly.

I can't say I know what happens in them but the state ran English speaking education systems must be terrible.

Here.  Read and learn.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/collegeprose...e-deficit/

At the same time, however, schools at every level are balancing their budgets and offsetting reductions in government allocations by cutting their offerings and/or eliminating foreign language requirements.
Consider this:
- The percentage of public and private elementary schools offering foreign language instruction decreased from 31 to 25 percent from 1997 to 2008.  Instruction in public elementary schools dropped from 24 percent to 15 percent, with rural districts hit the hardest.
- The percentage of all middle schools offering foreign language instruction decreased from 75 to 58 percent.
- The percentage of high schools offering some foreign language courses remained about the same, at 91 percent.
- About 25 percent of elementary schools and 30 percent of middle schools report a shortage of qualified foreign language teachers.

[Metis]

Here.  Read and learn.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/collegeprose...e-deficit/

At the same time, however, schools at every level are balancing their budgets and offsetting reductions in government allocations by cutting their offerings and/or eliminating foreign language requirements.
Consider this:
- The percentage of public and private elementary schools offering foreign language instruction decreased from 31 to 25 percent from 1997 to 2008.  Instruction in public elementary schools dropped from 24 percent to 15 percent, with rural districts hit the hardest.
- The percentage of all middle schools offering foreign language instruction decreased from 75 to 58 percent.
- The percentage of high schools offering some foreign language courses remained about the same, at 91 percent.
- About 25 percent of elementary schools and 30 percent of middle schools report a shortage of qualified foreign language teachers.

I see, thanks for the information Min!

The lack of language instruction at elementary/middle school level in the US isn't that unusual, there's several states in Europe that doesn't have that either and serious efforts to teach a second language don't generally start until the secondary stage. There are some bilingual schools for younger children but these are generally private academies independent from the state or on the country borders.

91% of American High Schools still offer a foreign language, and from what I understand all UK also teach at least one starting from the age of 12 when they enter secondary education. I might be wrong but I think all Welsh children also study Welsh before then too but few become fluent in it.

This isn't a huge lack of language instruction, three years is how long it takes to do a degree in a language and many of these programs do not assume any great previous knowledge. UK children have got at least six years of language instruction presuming that they took it as a GCSE(?) subject, eight if A-Level. Americans if they only study at High School still have at very least four years of it.

Maybe I should be more sympathetic but I didn't have any formal instruction in English, I was tested for my standard of it before I began my job but no teaching. I feel there is an element of laziness involved. If I can learn it from books and speak with me tapes like Athiest_BG got it from episodes of Friends what's stopping them from grabbing a copy of Teach Yourself French/German/Spanish or if they're feeling really extravagant a Rosetta Stone CD?

They need more drive, there are books, there is the internet. They could do it if they were bothered.