Hi, Mike and welcome. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. Losing your beliefs and becoming an atheist means not only accepting the finality of death, it also means accepting randomness. Randomness in the sense that unexpected and horribly tragic things sometimes just happen and there's no underlying meaning or greater purpose. It's a lot to deal with. You made a smart move coming here. I think you'll find a lot of support and understanding in this forum.
BTW, if you are actually an insomniac try to get some sleep somehow. As an insomniac myself, I know that not sleeping can make a tough situation downright brutal.
BTW, if you are actually an insomniac try to get some sleep somehow. As an insomniac myself, I know that not sleeping can make a tough situation downright brutal.