(July 27, 2015 at 3:55 am)robvalue Wrote: I actually feel a jarring switch way more when I masturbate. One moment I'm filled with sexual drive, excited, unable to contain myself any more... Then I feel utterly ridiculous, whatever pornography I have seems bizarre. I know I haven't done anything wrong, but I feel rather "pathetic" for indulging my primal urges.
After sex with someone I love, it is very different. I feel a sense of satisfaction. A kind of warm glow, and I bask in the love of my partner. I don't feel pathetic at all, but rather that I've been a part of something beautiful. Of course all the sexual drive falls from me instantly, but it does not seem jarring, and it's what it gets replaced with that is very different.
I've not had sex with anyone I didn't love (or at least thought I loved) so I can't comment on that.
(July 27, 2015 at 10:44 am)robvalue Wrote: I wonder if my feelings following masturbation are linked to my childhood. It was always treated in a very shameful way. Not healthy at all. I'd never thought about that before. I reckon I'm onto something.
Many times people who speak of masturbation as something shameful, speak of sex generally as shameful. Were your parents promoting the idea that you should be going out and having sex instead of masturbating? If not, then I think it unlikely that that explains the difference in how you feel about the different activities.
Unless you have the world's greatest hand, the two experiences are quite significantly different from each other. Plus, if you are masturbating alone, it has no social component. It does not bring you closer to your wife.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
