. First off you have something here, you use a minimalist style and while you could use a little more showing, characterization, and world building I like it. Your english and grammar are far better then mine. However, your main character needs work:
-He is an idiot for thinking that he is the last person on earth if there is still power, as he is clearly wrong.
-Not having a gun in a scenario such as this set in the south means certain death for him
- We need more about your main narrator, we need to know who he is, and frankly from reading your first chapters I didn't even get that he was a guy. I mean like how old is he even, a teenager? That's my guess, because he sounds kinda like a whiny "I'm so complex and deep" teenager type.
My suggestion (Because I genuinely like what you have here) is start the story off with conversation with his friend, then work into the scenes you have here by showing how he has been surviving and some explanation of what happened. Also do you have any peripheral pieces? Some (Myself included) find it helpful to write character sketches and such before they dive into the writing, for this I recommend a "in character" news piece to help ground the world in your own head.
-He is an idiot for thinking that he is the last person on earth if there is still power, as he is clearly wrong.
-Not having a gun in a scenario such as this set in the south means certain death for him
- We need more about your main narrator, we need to know who he is, and frankly from reading your first chapters I didn't even get that he was a guy. I mean like how old is he even, a teenager? That's my guess, because he sounds kinda like a whiny "I'm so complex and deep" teenager type.
My suggestion (Because I genuinely like what you have here) is start the story off with conversation with his friend, then work into the scenes you have here by showing how he has been surviving and some explanation of what happened. Also do you have any peripheral pieces? Some (Myself included) find it helpful to write character sketches and such before they dive into the writing, for this I recommend a "in character" news piece to help ground the world in your own head.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
