Shit. What The Hell. Jesus Never Existed

[CapnAwesome]

Same old amateurish mythicist apologetic as always.

Why the fuck is this so hard to understand. The 'Jesus' described by word and deed in the NT never fucking existed; his character is as much myth as Apollo. This is the Jesus Christians proclaim existed. The argument is that some first century rabble-rouser was put to death by crucifixion by a Roman prefect in a territory on the very edge of the empire in a time where a message between Rome and Jerusalem took at best weeks while accepting and adhering as much as possible to local custom; whoopdie fucking doo.

That strung-up Jesus asshole never raised Lazarus, walked on water, turned water into wine, fed a multitude with magic, nor presided over a herd of possessed cliff-diving pigs. Believing this dude Jesus did all this shit is the same as believing Abraham Lincoln really was a vampire slayer.

I agree with all the stuff you say, but for a moment lets say in a 1000 years people are talking about me and say that "Cap'n Awesome posted on Atheist forums, was a general badass, walked on water and his farts cured cancer." Would it really be accurate to say that I never existed?