If God changed his mind

[Wyrd of Gawd]

You are lucky that all gods are imaginary or you would be one busy minion.

When Jesus returns he's going to need some minions to toss unbelievers into the fire.  Since you said that you believe in Jesus you can do that for him.  John 15:6.

Haha. Alright, alright... interesting.

Remember, when Jesus returns his minions torture and kill people.  Satan, the Beast, and the False Prophet take the side of humanity and try to stop Jesus and his angels from killing all life and destroying the Earth.  The fairy tale says that they fail.  As a consequence all of humanity is exterminated and most of it gets tossed into the lake of fire.  The only ones who get into the gaudy bejeweled golden cube are members of the twelve tribes of Israel and only if they pass the entrance exam.  So if you aren't a member of the club too bad, so sad.  And if you are a member you will be busy killing off everyone else.