"Sins"?

[Kingpin]

Hi everybody,


I'm new here and need your help right at the beginning, even though it might sound a bit strange to you . Some time ago, I left a VERY fundamentalist religious group in which I had been taught that we needed to ask God for forgiveness for each and every little sin we committed, even “guilty” THOUGHTS. As I was a member of that church for quite some time, this always-asking-for-forgiveness became like a pattern. Now I' don't believe in God anymore, but still I kind of feel the urge to ask for forgiveness after each and every little wrongdoing (and even if it's only things such as having an envious thought or driving 60 instead of 55mph.... So I wanted to know what you/”normal people without religion” are doing in situations like those? Just shrug your shoulders, tell yourself that nobody is perfect and go on with life without feeling guilty? I know it sounds stupid, but I'd be happy to hear your answers!!! Thanks in advance,
Sandra

Wow Sandra, sorry to hear you went through that.  I'm not in the "normal people without religion" camp, but I'm certainly in the "normal people" camp.  Yes, nobody is perfect.  We all mess up.  Intent is the signifier.  Did you mean to do X knowing it was "wrong"?  Most often not.  Guilt is terrible thing to live with.  Far too many churches have turned God in to a forgiveness ATM.  Come, ask for forgiveness, get your 'forgiven' receipt and go on, rinse and repeat.  It makes it meaningless.  Forgiveness is about restoring relationship.  When I wrong my wife or upset her, I want to be forgiven so that we can get back to the relationship I have with her.  It's not so she will make my favorite dinner, or that we might have sex that night.  Those things may come to pass, but the reason I want forgiveness is to restore relationship.