(October 6, 2015 at 3:31 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I guess basically what I'm saying also is that sexual activity isn't a zero-sum game. Loving intimacy with a partner of any sort - be it monogamous and/or committed or casual doesn't mean you have to negate how much you also like pleasing yourself through a fantasy life as well. You can love both equally.
Well-said, TSQ.
That's why I said I was "libertine" with respect to how other people have sex. I absolutely do recognize that my own taste in pleasure is exactly that: my own.
I hope I didn't somehow imply that masturbation was frowned upon, either, simply because the type of intimacy I prefer is what you BDSM types call "vanilla" (I happen to like vanilla, both as a flavor and as a sex thing... but, just like with sex, there's a world of difference between boring, artifical-ingredient-filled, "vanilla ice cream" and a fresh bowl of homemade ice cream with real vanilla bean!), and I have found that I will actually lose my arousal level if I do harm or cause pain deliberately to anyone, regardless of consent, but that a few well-placed words or ideas in my head will take me from zero to blastoff, with my intimate partner. It took me a great many years of experiments before I discovered this simple fact about myself.
Simply put, my fantasies are in my head and in the head of my partner, communicated by word and touch, and I don't need (or desire) much in the way of stimulation outside of this paradigm. That others are stimulated by other factors is, to me, great! Who wants to live in a world where there is only one right way to do things, especially something so incredible as sex?
Oh, right... I forgot about fundamentalists. Who, indeed.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
