Quandary

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Want one or not, we all have a label of some kind assigned to us.  I have warmly carried the label of Deist for many years even though my own definition of it has often evolved with my own perception of the world around me.  Age is a funny thing that way.  Just when you think you know something about a chapter in your life, you find you have misunderstood the entire book.

Anyway, something happened recently ...



While listening in on a friendly debate about all things existential, I made a remark that surprised me a bit.
An acquaintance asked me a question about the existence of god and his roll in whatever rabbit trail their conversation had meandered on to.  
I responded - really with little thought on the matter and in a manner that I thought would make me sound mildly intellectual:  "God is the best part of one's own imagination, but that's probably where all fictional characters should stay."

The problem is, I think I meant it.  Bit of a quandary now.  Am I still a deist or have I given up on all things creator driven?
Am I an atheist?  Am I beginning to convert?  I've never assigned importance to the God I ascribe to, and have even surmised that he/she may have very well died.
None the less, I seem to have turned some sort of corner.  My atheistic leanings may be more than that.
hmm.
Part of me is ready to let go and part of me wonders why I even consider any of it at all.

  

What am I to be?  What do I really believe?

All gods are imaginary.  There is no celestial deity in this solar system.  So tossing all of the gods into the trash can cures one problem.  The other question is do any of the countless religions offer a set of rules a person should try to base his life choices on?  

When you read the books Old Testament Judaism and Islam are both bat shit crazy.  When people follow them as specified they become homicidal maniacs and make regular crazy people look sane.  

The Christian rules incorporate the Old Testament rules and adds maybe 100 more.  So if a person was to really follow the Christian rules he would be a combination Old Testament and Islamic raving lunatic.  

In order to sell the Christian version the marketers gloss over all of that and try to focus on the blue-bird of happiness = love Jesus and go to heaven.  The problem is according to the story no one will go to heaven.

There might be about a dozen things worthwhile in the Sermon on the Mount that might make you a "better person" if you followed them.  And that's the sum total of things worthwhile in the New Testament.  If you follow what Paul preached you will be a mean, spiteful person.