I lost my heart today.

[Mudhammam]

Thank you for the kind thoughts everyone. It's much appreciated, and I thank you letting me unburden this raw emotion on you here. I awoke this morning, just feeling numb, trying to understand where life goes from here for me. It is one of those horrible moments in which you know that for the rest of your life you will always view it as "before" and "after" that day. One thing I know for sure, is that I will take the lesson Trevor - that was his actual name - taught me and everyone else who had the privilege of knowing him: he reminded me every day to count my blessings, and to take nothing for granted. I've always known that life is short. He also showed me how very hard it is, not just as something I could grasp intellectually but something I watched him endure and struggle with every day. Most importantly, he taught me that life is also largely what you make it. Despite his limitations, he was one of the most cheerful, optimistic, sweet, thoughtful persons I have known.

I just can't even imagine what his parents are feeling right now.